Category: Blog

2. The Bitchy Beat down

Since I’ve been known to call out bitchy behavior myself, I’m going to be totally upfront here: in some cases I subscribe to the Mo’Nique philosophy, meaning that if, at some point, I am acting like a bitch, knowingly and with bitchiness aforethought, then that’s what the eff I need to be called. I’m okay with that, although your mileage may vary. In my experience, however, bitch-shaming for no real reason occurs when a woman is powerful, strong, confident, sexy, beautiful, smart, and successful. Sometimes, when a woman is perceived as a threat in any way, she’s branded a bitch out of turn.

3. Body Image Bashing

Fat-bashing, skinny-bashing, boob-bashing, butt-bashing … I hate seeing women shame each other for their body types. Fat-shaming is more mainstream, in that people seem to talk about it more and to consider it perfectly okay, but body image bashing knows no weight or shape. The thing is, true beauty doesn’t have a weight or a shape either. The need to put someone down based on the numbers on a scale, the cups on her bra, or the size of her ass is superficial and unnecessary. Since I do adore quoting Mean Girls, let me ask you this: does calling another woman fat make you feel thinner? Does putting down a skinny woman make you lose weight?

4. Success Equals Sex

Going back to the bitch quotient, it’s also becoming something of a trend to shame women for their success. You’ve heard it before, I bet. A woman gets a promotion, a raise, a bonus, and suddenly the whole office is whispering about how she must have slept with the boss. It even happens in high schools and colleges. A girl gets an excellent grade, and people start gossiping about what kind of “extra credit” she’s getting from the professor. Since when did success become something to demean?

5. You Are What You Wear

One of the worst ways women shame other women is by judging them based on their clothes. Their clothing choices can, in fact, lead to slut-shaming, body image shaming, or sexuality shaming. If you wear clothing from thrift stores, you’re poor; if you wear designer clothes, you’re a snob; short skirts make you slutty. The judgments don’t stop but clothes don’t mean anything. They don’t define a person.

6. A Minor Difference of Opinion

Sometimes women are shamed simply because they like something out of the ordinary, or don’t like a popular trend. Women will shame other women who don’t agree with them, simply because they’re sure they’re right. It might come down to something as innocuous as a book, a band, or a movie. What you like could make you slutty, stupid, too mainstream, a hipster, a Goth, a bitch. When does it stop?

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of any of the shaming tactics mentioned here, or tactics I didn’t mention, you know how much it hurts and how much trouble it can cause. Bullying is such a widespread issue, and this is an extension of it. I think it’s important to support other women whenever possible, not compete with them or judge them. Because what’s the point, really? How does it help you? Let me know if you’ve ever been shamed by other women, talk about how it made you feel, and remember all the while that you are beautiful. culled allwomenstalk

Share your thoughts

xoxo

SL