Here are 7 books, recommended by various sites (and a summary), you should own as a black woman discovering more of herself:
Finding Me – Viola Davis: “the book hides nothing as it unravels a story of hope, survival and acceptance of self”
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sing – Maya Angelou: “a coming-of-age story that demonstrates strength of character”
Ordinary People – Diana Evans: “an intimate story of identity and parenthood, building on the fragile architecture of love”
Becoming – Michelle Obama: “the book captures experiences on racism and sexism, and how it shaped the life of Michelle”
Americanah – Chimamanda Adichie: “the book focuses on denying true self and emotion, but finding joy in authenticity”
There Are More Beautiful Things than Beyonce – Morgan Parker: LOL! Shocking title, right? But it’s all for the love of Beyonce. The book is “a dynamic poetry collection that expresses the social narratives surrounding contemporary black womanhood”
Beloved – Toni Morisson: “the novel chronicles the life of a black woman held prisoner by the memories of the trauma of her life as a slave”
We ask four women what expectations and aspirations they have for March:
“They just announced a new president of Nigeria. Although this is not what we prayed for, I hope we survive it. I hope Nigeria does not erupt. This is the only country I have. My family, my business, my income. I don’t have the energy to fight. I just want to find a way to survive Nigeria.” – Ekwy
“I have plans to travel to two countries this month. Bags are packed and I am looking forward to the adventure. I have spent my entire life taking care of others, it is time to prioritize myself and see what is out there. Maybe I would find my prince charming at my destination. LOL!” – Yolanda
“I am not good with resolutions, and I try not to have too many expectations. After living 35 years of my life constantly planning and strategizing, I am taking a break and letting life take me through the path already planned by me and endorsed by the universe.” – Nnenna
“I am looking forward to more opportunities. It is the last month of the first quarter of the year, I am tempted to bring out the score sheet and start to check how well I have done, but that is just my OCD talking. I am looking forward to an amazing March, and I wish that for Nigeria.” – Mirian
Paraphrasing
a former US president quote, “The future of this republic is in the hands of
the Nigerian voter”.
As
we go out this Saturday to VOTE for the next president of Nigeria, let us leave
you with some important quotes for the most important position in any country –
the position of the CITIZEN.
May
God guide our decisions:
“Voting is the expression of our commitment to ourselves, one another, this country, and this world.” – Sharon Salzberg
“Talk is cheap, voting is free; take it to the polls.” – Nanette L. Avery
“The vote is precious. It is the most powerful non-violent tool we have in a democratic society, and we must use it.” – John Lewis
“It’s not enough to just want change, you have to go and make change by voting.” – Taylor Swift
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Dr. Martin Luther King
“There’s no such thing as a vote that doesn’t matter. It all matters.” – Barack Obama
“The ballot is stronger than the bullet.” – Abraham Lincoln
“The ignorance
of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.” – John F. Kennedy
“Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you.” Perecles
Ever experienced heartbreak? How did you handle it?
Here’s how Olubunmi helped her friend through her heartbreak.
“I’ve known Ifeoma for seven years. When I met her, she was engaged, but he broke it off when he travelled to the US. She started dating someone else. She was so committed to the relationship, it only seemed right that it would lead to marriage. Three years later, he eventually proposed after what seemed like a lot of pressure. They moved in together and I was happy for Ifeoma because I knew this was what she wanted. I expected the wedding plans to kick off immediately, but time went by and not a word about it. I would ask casually, and she would shrug. I noticed she was losing weight and looking really sad and even distracted. She was never available to hang out, and she would go days without calling back. Finally, she told us (her friends) that he was cheating and she had been begging him to stop. She went as far as going on her knees to beg him, she called a family meeting that pissed him off, and she even called the other girl to beg her to leave her man. As far as I was concerned, it was pitiful and I wanted her to stop! She said she had invested too much in the relationship and couldn’t imagine herself leaving. So the other friends told her to make demands from him, drag him (and his side chick) on social media and stuff like that. I insisted that was not the way to go. This was her second major heartbreak, and Ifeoma wasn’t ready to do it any other way. She wanted revenge. And so she listened to the other girls and decided to embarrass her fiancé and his side chick at a restaurant. It didn’t end well. He kicked her out of the house (even though they both paid rent). Though he eventually broke up with the side chick, he started dating someone else and never took Ifeoma back.
Ifeoma was devastated and all she thought about was how to
destroy him. She was ready to lose everything. She even said the only thing
that would give her peace is seeing him suffer; it was that deep. She decided
to go spiritual. That was when I had to really step in. I immediately reported
her to her mother and also to elder brother. They scolded her like a child and
it made her feel worse, but it stopped her from going all the way to becoming a
vile human being.
She didn’t speak to me for one whole year, but we eventually
made up and I told her the best way to get over him was to focus on developing
herself. She took her skincare more seriously, she invested more in her
business and even got a brand expert to position her business properly online.
I told her to use her money for her own soft life and not for any man. Now she
does a lot of travelling. She also got a nice place, got a nice car – things she
was always skeptical of getting because she didn’t want to scare men away. She
started living a life without waiting for approval from a man.
Ifeoma is the kind of woman who believes life is all about finding a spouse, and if that doesn’t happen then your life is miserable. I had to teach her many ways to be happy without being fixated on men and marriage.
Fast forward to 2022, Ifeoma has been to more than ten
countries, her business makes millions of naira in profits, she is more
confident, prettier, and doesn’t ignore red flags in relationships.
She is currently dating, but she isn’t fussing over the man
to become a husband. She is simply having a good time and letting things happen
as they should. My friend has come a long way, and I am happy to be part of
this journey.
PS: Oh! I should mention that her ex-fiancé tried to come
back when he encountered the brand new Ifeoma on Instagram, but my girl wasn’t
having it!
As Nigerians get set to VOTE for the next president, here are few Bible affirmations to keep hope alive. May God see us through. Amen:
“O Israel, hope in the LORD; for with the LORD there is mercy, and with Him is abundant redemption.” – Psalm 130: 7
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD.” – Jeremiah 17:7
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament, and those who turn many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever.” – Daniel 12:3
“Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer.” – Romans 12:12
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” – 1 Corinthians 2:9
“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
“Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” – Proverbs 23:18
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17
“Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” – Proverbs 24:14
We hope you have plans to travel this year? Join the growing number of black women exploring the world.
Travelling is an essential part of living a soft, colourful and
adventurous life. We want this for you, dear readers.
Here are SIX countries that are safe for black women travelling
solo or as a group, and what people have to say about them:
BALI: “Bali is considered one of the safest places in the world. Bali is also known for its beautiful natural landscape, captivating cultural scene and affordability. Bali attracts digital nomads all around the world.” – Essence
THAILAND: “Thailand has become everyone’s favourite spot. It is home to affordable vacationing. The stunning beaches, food, nightlife, and temples make every day adventurous. The natives of the island are also warm and kind, especially to women.” – Travel Noire
COLOMBIA: “The South American country of Colombia is known for its vibrant culture, warm and welcoming people, and flavorful cuisine. The country elected its first Black women Vice President this year, so it’s no surprise that it would be a haven for Black women. The port city of Cartagena has a strong African influence. Black culture is acknowledged and celebrated openly with many locals of African descent proud to declare that they love being Black. January through March is the best time of year to visit for great weather and beach time.” – Funtimes magazine
“Colombia is brimming with incredible things to see and experience. It belongs at the top of your travel bucket list. Amazing street art, incredible sites, unparalleled nightlife, gorgeous beaches, delicious food—the list goes on and on. Also, Colombia is the only country in South America with coastlines on both the Pacific Ocean and the Caribbean Sea so you get the best of both worlds.” – Essence magazine
GHANA: “In 2019, Ghana started to invite people of African descent to visit with the promise of easier visa applications and a year-long calendar of culturally immersive events, dubbing it the “Year of Return”. Since then, many have been traveling back to Ghana to connect with their ancestral roots, so there has never been a better time for Black women to travel to the country in West Africa. Ghana is relatively safe and so many beautiful places to visit.” – Stephanie Yeboah
PORTUGAL: “Portugal is considered a super progressive and diverse country. There’s very little crime and you basically won’t encounter any catcalling or harassment. The main crime travelers should be aware of is pickpocketing, but if you pay attention to your surroundings and you’re smart about how you pack and carry your belongings, you shouldn’t have to worry about this. From Lisbon to Porto to Lagos, you’re sure to find a good, and safe, time full of adventure, or relaxation. This should be on your list.” – Student Universe
CANADA: “Canada is on so many lists of safest countries. The people are friendly and welcoming. The country is clean and beautiful. One of the top spots for experiencing the country’s love for African culture is Montreal where you can see the Pan-Atlantic International Film Festival in April each year. Another great city to visit is Quebec, which is considered to be one of the safest and friendliest places you can visit in the world. Solo travelers will find the country accessible as there are lots of things to see and do on your own.” – Student Universe
It’s that special day set aside to celebrate the greatest gift of all, LOVE.
Those who are in relationships already have their plans
figured out by now, yes?
But what about YOU without that special someone to share this day with? What plans do you have?
Don’t let the day go to waste. You too can participate in
the frenzy of Valentine’s Day by loving yourself.
Sounds like a cliché, but do it! Focus on YOU today.
Here are FIVE things you can do on Valentine’s Day for yourself:
BREAKFAST IN BED: Order a platter a day before, and have them deliver it to your door in the morning. Pamper yourself to breakfast in bed. You deserve it.
WATCH A COMEDY: Treat yourself to laughter. It’ll lift your spirit.
GO SHOPPING: Why not? Get something you really think you deserve. Spoil yourself. Love starts with you.
SPA ON A BUDGET: Relax. Get a massage. Ask the masseuse to line up your room with scented candles. Ask for soft music in the background, then breathe!
VOLUNTEER: Go out there and do some good for the less privileged. It is one of the best ways to spend the day, trust us!
REFLECTING: Here’s a bonus point – You can round up the day with dinner in a restaurant with live music. Eat, dance and be happy. Life is good.
Lastly, don’t forget to reflect on your life and find many things to be grateful for. You may not have a partner right now, but you have LOVE – God’s Love. And for this love, you are able to start afresh everyday. His love is sufficient.
Monday is still that day many people dread. After getting up to the things you like during the weekend, Monday seems to be a reminder that you have responsibilities weighing you down. It can be very uninspiring.
But we can’t afford to approach the first working day of the week
with gloom, can we?
So, here are 11 ways we think you could express Mondays positively:
*What you do on Monday can improve the rest of your life.
*Mondays are the best days to rewrite your story. If you don’t like how last week went, create a new story every Monday.
*Monday is a ceremony that rolls out the red carpet for you to step on and be anything you want to be (we hope you choose to be great).
*A champion is that person who knows what to do with a Monday. If you figure Mondays out, you can easily figure out your entire life. Yes!
*If you are serious about changing your life, Monday is the best place to start.
*It is the hours you spend working hard on Monday that will buy you the freedom to live freely on weekends.
*You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic. – Andrea L’Artiste
*Monday understands success more than any other day of the week.
*Stepping into Monday is like stepping into a cold shower. It will shock at first, but you will get use to the temperature and you’ll be all right.
*Mondays offer you 52 ways to win all through the year.
We are celebrating sisterhood – women who choose to nurture friendship and build wholesome and rewarding relationships.
We ask three women the wonderful thing Sisterhood has done for them:
“Sisterhood saved me. I was going through a separation from a relationship that took ten years of my life. I was depressed and didn’t think I had much to live for. My friends came together and built this safe nest for me where we spoke every day, we prayed together and they took me out of town to feel new again. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have survived that phase of my life.” – Ebube
“I am 50 years old, and there’s so much I am learning from my younger relatives. They seem to have more wholesome friendships than we did. It is a beautiful paradox because they still prioritise personal needs. During my time, women compete, gossip wickedly and fight over ownership of men. But these days, these young women are prioritizing friendship and spending more time building sisterhood. I think they are wise. They have more fruitful relationships and lasting bond. I am learning.” – Rhoda Abiola
“Sisterhood is that space where I can be vulnerable without fear or shame. When we come together, there are no judgments. My friends are my safe space – they are my sisters. I went through a hoe phase because I was so confused about many things. My two close friends didn’t judge me. It was easy to come out of that phase and fix myself because these amazing women didn’t look at me like a failure. They were the shoulders I needed at a desperate hour. I won’t trade this sisterhood for anything!” – ChinasaEze
Women, do you have any amazing stories about sisterhood? Share with us.
