Making smart choices should be the way you approach life every day. Have it in your survival kit, in your soft-life kit, business kit, and life kit! Making smart choices is the flex the world says it is. It saves you from unnecessary drama, it protects you from situations that can destroy, it preserves you and creates the path to live a life full of beauty.
Do not underestimate your power to choose or decide what is
best for you.
Make smart decisions about the lover in your life. Make
smart decisions about friends. Make smart decisions about your job. Make smart
decisions about the activities that take up your time. Make smart decisions on
family.
The goal is to surround yourself with people who reflect the life you consciously and deliberately design for yourself, and surround yourself with things, ambitions and experiences that propel you towards your desired goal.
When you know you are WORTHY, then you will naturally think
of how you want to be treated and how you want your life to be. You choose how
people treat you, because it is in your power to design your life through smart
thinking and smarter decision making.
We hope you have plans to travel this year? Join the growing number of black women exploring the world.
Travelling is an essential part of living a soft, colourful and
adventurous life. We want this for you, dear readers.
Here are SIX countries that are safe for black women travelling
solo or as a group, and what people have to say about them:
BALI: “Bali is considered one of the safest places in the world. Bali is also known for its beautiful natural landscape, captivating cultural scene and affordability. Bali attracts digital nomads all around the world.” – Essence
THAILAND: “Thailand has become everyone’s favourite spot. It is home to affordable vacationing. The stunning beaches, food, nightlife, and temples make every day adventurous. The natives of the island are also warm and kind, especially to women.” – Travel Noire
COLOMBIA: “The South American country of Colombia is known for its vibrant culture, warm and welcoming people, and flavorful cuisine. The country elected its first Black women Vice President this year, so it’s no surprise that it would be a haven for Black women. The port city of Cartagena has a strong African influence. Black culture is acknowledged and celebrated openly with many locals of African descent proud to declare that they love being Black. January through March is the best time of year to visit for great weather and beach time.” – Funtimes magazine
“Colombia is brimming with incredible things to see and experience. It belongs at the top of your travel bucket list. Amazing street art, incredible sites, unparalleled nightlife, gorgeous beaches, delicious food—the list goes on and on. Also, Colombia is the only country in South America with coastlines on both the Pacific Ocean and the Caribbean Sea so you get the best of both worlds.” – Essence magazine
GHANA: “In 2019, Ghana started to invite people of African descent to visit with the promise of easier visa applications and a year-long calendar of culturally immersive events, dubbing it the “Year of Return”. Since then, many have been traveling back to Ghana to connect with their ancestral roots, so there has never been a better time for Black women to travel to the country in West Africa. Ghana is relatively safe and so many beautiful places to visit.” – Stephanie Yeboah
PORTUGAL: “Portugal is considered a super progressive and diverse country. There’s very little crime and you basically won’t encounter any catcalling or harassment. The main crime travelers should be aware of is pickpocketing, but if you pay attention to your surroundings and you’re smart about how you pack and carry your belongings, you shouldn’t have to worry about this. From Lisbon to Porto to Lagos, you’re sure to find a good, and safe, time full of adventure, or relaxation. This should be on your list.” – Student Universe
CANADA: “Canada is on so many lists of safest countries. The people are friendly and welcoming. The country is clean and beautiful. One of the top spots for experiencing the country’s love for African culture is Montreal where you can see the Pan-Atlantic International Film Festival in April each year. Another great city to visit is Quebec, which is considered to be one of the safest and friendliest places you can visit in the world. Solo travelers will find the country accessible as there are lots of things to see and do on your own.” – Student Universe
It’s that special day set aside to celebrate the greatest gift of all, LOVE.
Those who are in relationships already have their plans
figured out by now, yes?
But what about YOU without that special someone to share this day with? What plans do you have?
Don’t let the day go to waste. You too can participate in
the frenzy of Valentine’s Day by loving yourself.
Sounds like a cliché, but do it! Focus on YOU today.
Here are FIVE things you can do on Valentine’s Day for yourself:
BREAKFAST IN BED: Order a platter a day before, and have them deliver it to your door in the morning. Pamper yourself to breakfast in bed. You deserve it.
WATCH A COMEDY: Treat yourself to laughter. It’ll lift your spirit.
GO SHOPPING: Why not? Get something you really think you deserve. Spoil yourself. Love starts with you.
SPA ON A BUDGET: Relax. Get a massage. Ask the masseuse to line up your room with scented candles. Ask for soft music in the background, then breathe!
VOLUNTEER: Go out there and do some good for the less privileged. It is one of the best ways to spend the day, trust us!
REFLECTING: Here’s a bonus point – You can round up the day with dinner in a restaurant with live music. Eat, dance and be happy. Life is good.
Lastly, don’t forget to reflect on your life and find many things to be grateful for. You may not have a partner right now, but you have LOVE – God’s Love. And for this love, you are able to start afresh everyday. His love is sufficient.
We are celebrating sisterhood – women who choose to nurture friendship and build wholesome and rewarding relationships.
We ask three women the wonderful thing Sisterhood has done for them:
“Sisterhood saved me. I was going through a separation from a relationship that took ten years of my life. I was depressed and didn’t think I had much to live for. My friends came together and built this safe nest for me where we spoke every day, we prayed together and they took me out of town to feel new again. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have survived that phase of my life.” – Ebube
“I am 50 years old, and there’s so much I am learning from my younger relatives. They seem to have more wholesome friendships than we did. It is a beautiful paradox because they still prioritise personal needs. During my time, women compete, gossip wickedly and fight over ownership of men. But these days, these young women are prioritizing friendship and spending more time building sisterhood. I think they are wise. They have more fruitful relationships and lasting bond. I am learning.” – Rhoda Abiola
“Sisterhood is that space where I can be vulnerable without fear or shame. When we come together, there are no judgments. My friends are my safe space – they are my sisters. I went through a hoe phase because I was so confused about many things. My two close friends didn’t judge me. It was easy to come out of that phase and fix myself because these amazing women didn’t look at me like a failure. They were the shoulders I needed at a desperate hour. I won’t trade this sisterhood for anything!” – ChinasaEze
Women, do you have any amazing stories about sisterhood? Share with us.
Do not permit TOXICITY near you. Protect yourself from foul words, from negative impressions, from uncomfortable situations, and from people who defraud you of peace and kindness, and from moments that do not serve your interest.
You deserve a life that is free of chaos. Learn to walk away from anything if it threatens your peace of mind. It may sound like a buzzword, but always try to PROTECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. If you “lose your mind”, you lose everything.
We all have very limited time on earth. Use your time wisely.
What are your plans for the big Love Day? Are you expecting any grand event?
Five women share their expectations for Valentine’s Day:
“I would like a lovely dinner after work. I would also like to receive bank alert. Afterwards, I would like to be left alone to sleep in a hotel for the rest of the week.” – Arin Davies, banker.
“I want an engagement ring. That’s what I want. I’m 32 and I want to move to the next level of my life as a woman. I dated someone for three years and he broke my heart. I’m seeing this guy but it’s not a serious relationship. I can’t think of anything I want more than to find a man ready to settle down and get engaged.” – Blessing, stylist.
“I will like a trip to Seychelles or Maldives or Zanzibar. A nice Valentine get-away, sipping Champagne and having mind-blowing sex. Those are my wishes.” – Ndidi Ugwoke, copywriter.
“I would love to receive flowers and gift – a wristwatch and a perfume delivered to my office. The idea that my colleagues can see that I am loved would make me feel really special.” – Pelumi Oyerinde, customer care.
“I’m a new mother and I’ve been married for four years, I have never been treated like a princess. I would like a full day at a spa. I would like a full day of doing nothing. Let someone else stay up at night while I grab some sleep. That’s all I want. Oh! And some chocolates. I love chocolates!” – Tricia Udom, digital marketer.
PS: Readers, share your expectations for Valentine’s Day.
On October 6, 2019 – 35 year old Jessica touched down in Seychelles. This destination marked her record as the first black woman to travel to every country in the world!
The daughter of Ugandan immigrants, Nabongo live-streamed her accomplishment on Instagram to her 130,000 followers, at the time, from six continents.
It is
important to note that there are less than 500 people who have travelled to
every country, which makes Nabongo worthy of attention, especially as she is
the only documented black woman to have achieved this.
Her feat came with some priceless lessons you should know:
“Most
people are good,” she says.
“We have more similarities as humans than we have differences,” she adds.
Nabongo
emphasizes the need for every race to experience the world, first-hand, because
seeing the world through the eyes of the “white man” may not be accurate.
Achieving
this exploit, Nabongo states on her Instagram page: “I will never forget swimming with whales in Tonga, a late night road
trip to Guinea, drinking fermented horse milk in Kyrgyzstan, all the late
nights in the streets of London, walking across the bridge into Afghanistan,
seeing the pyramids in Sudan, the cattle camp in South Sudan, roads trips
through eastern Europe and southern Africa. There are just so many fun
memories!!”
We think Nabongo has lived an incredible life even before hitting 40!
For every black woman out there contemplating whether to make 2023 more
colourful by fulfilling a bucket list, this is the motivation you need. You may
not travel the entire world, but let this inspire you to do something
interesting in 2023.
Jessica Nabongo captures her incredibly rich and meaningful experience in her book, ‘The Catch Me If You Can’, published by National Geographic.
PS: Dear readers, what exploits do you plan to do this year?
“How
am I going to cope with being a mother to toddlers and running a business?”
“Should
I listen to people and have another baby?”
“Will I be seen as aggressive if I share my
opinions?”
“Can
I make good friends regardless of the stereotype of women hating on one
another?”
The
difference between failing and winning is in DOING regardless of FEAR.
This February do not give room for fear.
Here are 5 of our favourite quotes on fear:
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” – Judy Blume
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” – Yoda
“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.’ – Marie Curie
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” – Frank Herbert in Dune
