Category: Make me fabulous

You is kind.

You is smart.

You is important.

Bad English (LOL!), but those are the most memorable words ever. I got it from the book and movie, The Help. After the character Aibeeelen witnesses the child (Mae Mobley Leefort) she is caring for being hurt over and over again by her mother, she decides to do something about it. Everyday she tells the young child in her care something good about herself: “You is Kind. You is smart. You is important, you hear me?”

I believe a message like this needs to spread to every child in Nigeria. We have too many timid children (made timid mostly by the people who should shower them with unconditional love). If this country is ever going to become great, we have to remind ourselves how special we are – and it starts with the man/woman in the mirror.

I am special. And so are you! *wink*

Happy Sunday!

If you can conquer fear and doubt, you will most likely find yourself on the corridors of opportunity and chance frequently. And only when you walk through those corridors are you able to meet with certain circumstances and people that can influence your life positively. As the year rapidly skips to an end, here are a few bold strategies you should take to achieving those last-minute aspirations.

1. Go straight to that door and knock!

There are too many middle men to getting what we want…uuugh! It is so frustrating! Now is the time to jump that queue! If it is a job you want and you know where the office is, go straight to that door and make that appointment. If you see the Manager or CEO on the corridor, brace up and get his attention – he is not a ball of fire, he won’t burn you! The worst that can possibly happen is he’d listen and then direct you through the ‘right’ procedure, but at least you would have conquered one major vice – fear!

NOTE! To succeed with this approach you need to be very smart, intelligent and well put together, if not you will be snubbed, treated lowly and discarded. So make sure you have the requisite finesse that people are drawn to.

 2. Have a sincere conversation with someone!

It could be your mother, your close friend, your boss, your neighbour…tell them exactly how you feel about certain situations. We are always too intimidated to speak up. There are extremes to many people – it’s either they are too frightened to talk or too pompous to shut up! You can’t afford to fall under any of those categories – create a balance. Speak up, but be polite. Let people know exactly how you feel about certain decisions and situations. You’d feel lighter when you are able to courteously express yourself.

NOTE! You must have an unselfish reason to do this. Do not just go on about “me-me-me”. Life is not only about you. If you must call someone for an honest exchange then your heart and mind have to be open to receive and to give.

3. Make the first move!

We stay on the side-line way too many times in life, waiting for the next person to make a move. As 2012 is running out, I dare you to make that move! Whatever it is, if you desire it – make the move. Tell someone how you feel, start a business, speak up for a cause, stand up for something that you truly believe must be addressed.

NOTE! Be prepared for the challenges your move might bring. Do not be found ill-equipped and unqualified. Be well groomed and set!

 4. Pause!

Sometimes we need to take a break from all the work and hustle. Pause and reflect. Don’t feel guilty to take the time off from people and stuff. Take a breather, relax, rejuvenate!

NOTE! This, of course, only applies to hard-workers who have a well-defined life and have, to some extent, achieved certain things required of them.

5. Discover new things!

Get out of that box! I know it is comfortable and warm in there but there’s just so much happening out here that you need to discover. Get out of your comfort zone. Go on and uncover your world. Try everything your mind and heart hungers for – every legitimate and virtuous thing. Let your mind soar, let your spirit dance, let your soul explore. LIVE life. Don’t just exist. Put your worries aside – we all have our issues but it is still a beautiful world and there’s just so much waiting for you to experience.

NOTE! Please don’t go overboard. You might need certain skills and knowledge to do certain things. Get that first!

May the rest of 2012 be rewarding for all of us! xoxo

Great people are not afraid to watch other people grow. Great people recognize talent. Great people nurture. Great people teach. Great people care. Great people believe. Great people see beyond the flaws of another because ultimately we are all flawed. Great people concentrate on the strengths of others and patiently drive pointers to weaknesses that should be worked on. Great people are not stirred by looks and/or possessions, they concentrate on talent and skill. A great person knows how to maximise everyone’s gift for the benefit of the bigger picture. Great people are not easily coerced. Great people pick the best teams. A great person does not go with the crowd. A great person does not buy into popular opinion. A great person will stand by one person he/she believes in than run with the multitude. Great people recognize that, ultimately, there is more to life than what we can comprehend.

Great people know God.

Be. Great.

Happy New Month!

– Stephanie

Beauty is one of the most mind-boggling subjects ever. Every day we are confronted with the true meaning of Beauty. What is beauty? Who is beautiful? “The woman” is mostly the lab rat used to identify with the exact connotation of the word. Still it is confusing as to what kind of woman – her looks, her personality, her acumen and tendencies – that can be described as beautiful.

More than anything else, the world pays too much attention to the physical attributes of the female gender. To this effect women who do not fit into the stereotype form of what the world perceives beauty to be become very timid and vulnerable in a world that makes her feel her buttocks has to be bigger and her breasts perkier for her to achieve or attain certain goals.

I have seen young women suffer this “ailment” of relying on the society to define their beauty. And if they never get the approval from society, they spend most of their lives leaving below their capabilities.

When we think of beauty, we think of fairer skin, straight hair, proportionate feminine features… If we rely on the description of beauty from the eyes of society, we will remain doubtful of ourselves because there will always be women and/or men more beautiful than we are.

I see beauty as the point of grace between hurt and healing. That is where beauty resides – in the middle of reconciling with our past, accepting our present, and forging towards our tomorrow. Beauty is the tranquillity that rests inside of you when a colleague speaks ill of you…when another driver in traffic spits venom…when your partner acts inappropriately…when you receive the worst kind of treatment from people – it is that peace inside of us that makes us beautiful, the peace that does not respond violently or reacts similarly to what is expected. That peace that surpasses all of life’s ugliness.

So as the week progresses and you are faced with difficult situations, do not let the chaos around you define you. Let the peace that keeps you still guide you.

You are beautiful – always!

–          Stephanie

I am on location at the moment shooting my movie – “DRY”. The movie focuses on Vesico Vaginal Fistula (VVF). This is a cause I am very passionate about. I have been to the North and to other parts of the country, and I have seen first-hand how this health issue defies normal living for girls and women of different ages. I have decided to share their stories through “DRY”.

“DRY” journeys into the heart-wrenching details of a culture not too many films dare to explore. The issue might seem controversial, but if it will set one girl free and open the minds of the people, and also instruct different bodies and individuals to take action, then the movie would have served its purpose.

VVF causes leakage of urine and faeces through the vagina. Girls as young as 11-15 years suffer this ailment when they are forced into early marriages to older men, and due to their small pelvic sizes, they experience obstructive labour which can provoke a cut (mostly done by unprofessional medical aides) wherein the baby can come through.

I am excited about what we can achieve if VVF is taking more seriously. With our scripts and cameras, we shall tell the story of those whose voices are small… and lips too tired to speak.

More gist as the cameras roll!

–          Stephanie

Everyone has scars. It could be the pain that stays in your heart when someone you truly love and admire does not reciprocate that same passion; it could be the bitterness of growing up in lack that shortens your expectations and opportunities in life; it could be the fear of living in a violent relationship; the regrets of past mistakes; it could also be the evidence of an accident.

Scars can make you insecure and feel less than beautiful, especially physical scars – the type that is all out for people to see. But do not let your scars stop you from living.

If your heart is heavy of pain – it is time to let it go. The scars that remain from years of un-forgiveness is so damaging that it can live you looking many years older than you really are. If you have regrets from the past, be consoled that you are human and you make mistakes. The most important thing is that you lift yourself from the gaffes you have made and bounce right into the present where you have all the power to re-write and edit your script of life!

And if it is a physical scar, do not let it control your life. Stroke the scar, remember the incident if you wish, but be thankful that you made it out alive; and you still have a chance at life! Life is the fair game we’ve all been presented with, who cares if you’ve got a bump on your chin?

Live your best life!

I have lived with my physical scars for years now – after a near-death incident, and every day I realise just how beautiful I am despite them. I have a wonderful life, a great career, a family of love – what more can a young woman ask for?

So as I welcome you to my world, I want you to come just the way you are – imperfections are allowed; we are here to learn, to grow, and become.

What scars do you suffer? Let us share and comfort one another.

–          Stephanie