Stephanie Linus Daily

Tag: Friendship

  • FIVE VALUES OF FRIENDSHIP

    Friendship Goals! We say it, but do we mean it! How do you choose your friends? You may hang out with people and laugh together, even gossip, but are they really friends? What value do you place on friendship? Should we even place any value at all?

    Well, yes! You should. Friendship is one of the few relationships in your life that you get to choose by yourself, so it is best you apply wisdom in making your decisions.

    Here are FIVE VALUES of HEALTHY friendship:

    RESPECT: Respect each other. Respect what your friend brings to the relationship. If you decide to make friends, see the good in them.

    HONESTY: No lies. No pretenses. Do not make your friendship a home for hypocrisy. Be open, be sincere. Tell yourselves the truth.

    EMPATHY: If there’s no empathy, then there’s no friendship. You cannot be judgmental or mean-spirited. Show love and empathy by having an understanding of your friend’s challenges and predicaments. Show concern.

    INDEPENDENCE: No matter how much you promise to stand for each other, you also need a friend who can stand on her own. You can lend a hand sometimes, but a true friend must be independent in her finances and personal decisions. The idea is to come together and inspire each other, not leech from the other person. You should add value to the life of your friend, not suck all the good they have, and leave them empty.

    GRACE: Understand that everyone – including your friend – is a work-in-progress. Show grace. Forgive their mistakes (if they are not borderline destructive or harmful). Show kindness. They may not deserve it all the time, but the trick is to know when to stop and move away. It’s up to you to set boundaries. But the most important thing is not to throw the baby and the bath water – not every disagreement should end your friendship. Show grace and know when to forgive, and also when to move on.

    May we continue to build healthy friendships!

  • SISTERHOOD: HOW A FRIEND SUPPORTED ANOTHER THROUGH HEARTBREAK

    Ever experienced heartbreak? How did you handle it?

    Here’s how Olubunmi helped her friend through her heartbreak.

    “I’ve known Ifeoma for seven years. When I met her, she was engaged, but he broke it off when he travelled to the US. She started dating someone else. She was so committed to the relationship, it only seemed right that it would lead to marriage. Three years later, he eventually proposed after what seemed like a lot of pressure. They moved in together and I was happy for Ifeoma because I knew this was what she wanted. I expected the wedding plans to kick off immediately, but time went by and not a word about it. I would ask casually, and she would shrug. I noticed she was losing weight and looking really sad and even distracted. She was never available to hang out, and she would go days without calling back. Finally, she told us (her friends) that he was cheating and she had been begging him to stop. She went as far as going on her knees to beg him, she called a family meeting that pissed him off, and she even called the other girl to beg her to leave her man. As far as I was concerned, it was pitiful and I wanted her to stop! She said she had invested too much in the relationship and couldn’t imagine herself leaving. So the other friends told her to make demands from him, drag him (and his side chick) on social media and stuff like that. I insisted that was not the way to go. This was her second major heartbreak, and Ifeoma wasn’t ready to do it any other way. She wanted revenge. And so she listened to the other girls and decided to embarrass her fiancé and his side chick at a restaurant. It didn’t end well. He kicked her out of the house (even though they both paid rent). Though he eventually broke up with the side chick, he started dating someone else and never took Ifeoma back.

    Ifeoma was devastated and all she thought about was how to destroy him. She was ready to lose everything. She even said the only thing that would give her peace is seeing him suffer; it was that deep. She decided to go spiritual. That was when I had to really step in. I immediately reported her to her mother and also to elder brother. They scolded her like a child and it made her feel worse, but it stopped her from going all the way to becoming a vile human being.

    She didn’t speak to me for one whole year, but we eventually made up and I told her the best way to get over him was to focus on developing herself. She took her skincare more seriously, she invested more in her business and even got a brand expert to position her business properly online. I told her to use her money for her own soft life and not for any man. Now she does a lot of travelling. She also got a nice place, got a nice car – things she was always skeptical of getting because she didn’t want to scare men away. She started living a life without waiting for approval from a man.

    Ifeoma is the kind of woman who believes life is all about finding a spouse, and if that doesn’t happen then your life is miserable. I had to teach her many ways to be happy without being fixated on men and marriage.

    Fast forward to 2022, Ifeoma has been to more than ten countries, her business makes millions of naira in profits, she is more confident, prettier, and doesn’t ignore red flags in relationships.

    She is currently dating, but she isn’t fussing over the man to become a husband. She is simply having a good time and letting things happen as they should. My friend has come a long way, and I am happy to be part of this journey.

    PS: Oh! I should mention that her ex-fiancé tried to come back when he encountered the brand new Ifeoma on Instagram, but my girl wasn’t having it!

  • Physical Distance Doesn’t Have To Mean Emotional Distance

    For many of us, the COVID-19 crisis has changed our lives and the way we relate with people around us almost overnight.

    We hear this term – social distancing – almost every day as a means of protecting ourselves from getting infected with the virus. But the truth is what we should really practice is physical distancing and not emotionally disentangling ourselves from our friends and loved ones. Yes, we’re keeping the physical distance between us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still emotionally connect.

    Sickness reminds us that we are all each other’s responsibility, but it can be painfully difficult to know how to enact those responsibilities when the physical distance is first and foremost among them. How do we help people when we need to limit physical contact with them? The answer is simple: Let’s focus on reducing physical contact while maintaining—to the extent possible—the social connections that help us thrive and stay healthy.

    Small steps can lead to big effects.

    Here are some of the ways I’ve been keeping that emotional connection with my loved ones:

    Phone Calls; Video Calls; Text messages; If you live in a place where you’re allowed to go outside, meet up with friends for walks or a run. Just remember to keep about two meters (six feet) between each other and avoid shaking hands.

    Not only can you emotionally connect during this period, you absolutely should! Check-in regularly on family, older parents, neighbors, friends, or relatives and let them know they are loved and valued.

    Amazonians, how have you been connecting with your loved ones emotionally during the pandemic?

  • Forgive Yourself…

    All of us make mistakes at times. As humans, we’re imperfect.

    We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. However, stewing in remorse isn’t a productive way to cope. As difficult as it may seem, letting go of guilt and shame is a necessary part of moving on from any mistake or embarrassment.

    Unfortunately, the decision to feel miserable for the rest of your life can have tragic consequences. And not always in obvious ways. A lot of people struggle with self-condemnation or self-blame because they’ve either done something they feel was wrong and they feel guilty, or because they feel that they’re wrong or defective in some way and they feel a sense of shame. No one can beat us up better than we beat ourselves up.

    When we try to forgive ourselves, we’re trying to release something that feels like it is part of us. We’re releasing who we were in the moment that we did whatever it was.

    It’s time for you to remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. I would love for you to let go of the burden you might be carrying around so you can learn how to forgive yourself and start to experience some freedom in your life.

    There’s a season for our suffering and regret. We have to have that. But the season ends; the world moves on. And we need to move on with it.

  • Did You Make A New Friend This Year?

    It’s already October lovelies!

    A few days ago, as we crossed into the last quarter of the year 2019, I began to reflect on the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. One of those goals was to make good connections with people, both business and personal, that would have a positive impact on my life.

    Relationships are important. At different stages of my professional journey, people have been instrumental in helping me achieve success or bring life to my dreams. In my personal endeavors, I wouldn’t have come this far without the support of my husband, close family and friends who have supported me every step of the way.

    So, as I reflect on the year 2019, I’m very grateful for the new connections I’ve made with people who have helped make my life more beautiful.

    Tell me about your experience. Did you make a new friend this year?

  • What is the worst thing a friend has ever done to you?

    Good friends are precious gems. They are priceless, valuable and difficult to part with.

    But sometimes, we see the other side of friendship and what should have been a good thing becomes a thorn in our flesh.

    I’m sure many of us have had such experiences with people who were once very close to us. So let’s recount them today and learn from each other.  What is the worst thing a friend has ever done to you? Were you able to forgive this friend of yours?

    Let’s share…

  • Choose Friends Who Influence You Positively

    The people who you keep close will have a huge impact on your life.

    Choose friends that will hold you accountable, be honest with you, and encourage you towards your goals and dreams. When you share your time with people that build you up and encourage you, then you can build lasting relationships. These relationships contribute directly to true happiness.

    Studies show us that happy people that have better social relationships have more pleasant everyday lives. Put your
    energy towards building meaningful deep relationships, even if it means having fewer of them.

    Fill your inner circle with those who radiate positivity and lift you higher, bringing you feelings of happiness on an ongoing basis.

    Let’s celebrate our friends today. Who is that friend who influences you in a positive way?

  • Friendship Across Distance

    Friendship

    Do you often think back at how close you used to be with some friends probably when you were in school or when you were much younger, and how your lives have changed since then?

    When distance separates two friends, it is often difficult to keep up that connection, that bond that seemed almost inseparable between you two.

    SL Fabz, let’s discuss this. I came across this quote today: (more…)

  • Picture of the Day: A Friend Is _____ ?

    two-kids-under-a-banana-leaf-in-the-rain-indonesia

    A friend is someone
    You turn to.
    A friend is someone
    You confide in.
    A friend is someone
    Who stands by you.
    A friend is someone
    Who lifts your spirits.
    A friend is someone
    who encourages you.
    A friend is someone
    You treasure always.
    A friend is someone
    Who makes you smile.
    A friend is someone
    Who brightens your day.

    I came across this picture and it really warmed my heart.

    Do you have someone like this in your life?