Stephanie Linus Daily

Tag: relationship

  • TALK TO STEPH: Should I Get Married After Dating For Just Six Months

    Cynthia sent this in, she needs your advice. Please drop it in the comment box:

    Hi Stephanie,

    Please post this on your blog so your readers can give me advice on my situation.

    I have been dating my boyfriend for about six months now. He is based in London but comes to Nigeria very often. He asked me to marry him. I have a good feeling about it and I want to say yes, but the problem is I feel like we don’t really know each other and that we need more time. He is abroad most of the time and has promised to take me there with him when we are about to start having children. He also assured me that he doesn’t have a wife or children in London.

    I’m so confused. He wants us to get married this year but I don’t understand his rush. What do you advice? Should I go ahead and marry him?

  • How do you respond to ‘I love you’ when the feeling isn’t mutual?

    Hey SL Fabz,

    I need your help with this tough question.

    What is the best way to respond to ‘I Love You‘ when you are not ready to say it back? How do you do this in a good way without hurting the person’s feelings?

    This question is for every one, the guys and the ladies. I’ll really like to know what you think.

     

  • 5 Questions All Single Women Should Ask When Dating

    It’s a new year and just like lots of people, you might be planning to start a new relationship this year. This is a good thing, but ladies, before you get too attached to that man and find out he is not the one for you, there are some important questions you need to ask at the start of a relationship.

    Here are 5 questions I think are truly important to ask:

    1. Why do you choose me?
    You might think that any lady asking this question is insecure about herself, but in this context, it is a question a confident woman should ask. This is not a question that is asked because you don’t feel you deserve to be chosen, but a question you should ask to know his reason. Why do you like me? Why are you attracted to me? What is it about me that made you ask me out? His answer to this question will tell you whether he want you just for a shallow reason or if his feelings run deep.

    2. What are you looking for in a relationship?
    Next, you should want to know what he really wants from you. This may strike some as too pointed but many ladies make the mistake of assuming a guy wants something serious when he doesn’t or that he just wants a fling when he is in for the long term. He might respond, “Fun and companionship. I’m not interested in anything serious right now” , or “I’m looking for someone who shares my values and wants to explore a future together.” This prepares you for the future.

    3. What exactly happened in your last relationship?
    Everybody has things they don’t want to talk about and that’s fine. Your last relationship is not one of those things that you can really hold onto yourself because it really affects your next relationship. That’s why you have to have this conversation at some point. You need to know if they were cheated on or cheated in their last relationship, which may be an indication of trust issues that may have developed. You need to know if they dated someone who was abusive or too submissive, or if perhaps this is their first ever relationship. Ask questions to avoid unpleasant surprises later on.

    4. What kind of relationship do you have with God?
    It is very important to know what type of person you are dealing with. He might seem to be the love of your life but he may be an atheist. You need to know where his spiritual life resides. You need to be sure that you both share some common ground and can build each other up spiritually.

    5. What are your long-term goals?
    Every man needs to have a plan and those plans should be different from the short-term goals. If they’re not different, then he’s not really planning. You need this information to decide whether you want to attach yourself to his plan and take the relationship to the next level. It’s very possible that you’ll like a man and his short term goals, but he doesn’t have a good vision for his future in the long term. This might not be the kind of person you want to attach yourself with for a long period of time.

    This list doesn’t contain every single important question so I’d like you to help me out with some more. What important question(s) should a lady ask a man at the start of a relationship?

    Tomorrow, we’ll discuss questions a single guy should ask a lady so watch out for that 💜

  • Should A Man Cook & Clean When He Has A Wife?

    Growing up in a typical African home, I learnt that some chores are meant for the girls and women while others are meant for the men.

    But as I grew older, I began to notice a reversal of roles. Some call it western influence, some call it development, while others would call it pure madness.

    We find in some homes these days that the woman is the bread winner. In others, men help their wives out in the kitchen to wash and clean. Lots of women are great drivers; while lots of men are excellent cooks and hairdressers… I could go on and on about different things men and women weren’t doing before, but do now.

    However, today, I’d like us to focus on the kitchen and domestic work. Is it ‘proper’ for a man to do the dishes and cook at home regularly? Remember, the emphasis is on regularly, I don’t mean just helping his wife out once in a while. If a man loves to cook and clean, should he stop doing it simply because he is married and now has a wife?

    Let’s discuss!

  • Hot Topic: How should she say no to her boss?

    Imagine this scenario:

    Your friend just got the kind of job she had been dreaming of all her life. The pay is great, the office location is favourable and the working condition is comfortable.

    One month into her new job, her boss starts making subtle passes at her. Her boss is a married man whose wife and children live abroad. He claims he doesn’t want an affair with her, but just wants to be closer than necessary. He asks her for dates often, wants her to come to his house on weekends, wants to drop her off from home every evening, and gives her more bonus than her colleagues.

    Every time she declines a date, he reminds her that he doesn’t want an affair with her, but just wants to discuss work outside the office. He also reminds her that he has the power to keep her in the company or kick her out. She finds this very uncomfortable, but is very passionate about her job and desperately wants to keep it.

    This is actually a real life scenario presented to me by a younger friend recently. If you were in her shoes, what would you do? How should she say no to her boss?

  • Stephanie’s Poll: Money vs Time

    We can’t deny the fact that for every marriage to pass the test of time, comfort which comes from having good finances and quality time are both important. The question for today is, which one is most important to you?

    Let’s examine both scenarios:

    Without having enough money to cater for one’s needs, it puts a strain on marriages. These days women are not comfortable when they have to rely on their husbands for every financial responsibility.

    On the other hand, a couple who do not spend enough quality time together as a result of very busy work schedules often have a big gap in their relationship. It gets even worse when children are involved. When children don’t spend enough time with their mother because she is too busy with work, there could be grave consequences.

    As a man, would you prefer to have a wife who earns a lot of money and spends less time at home with the family or would you prefer a wife who has all the time in the world for the family and earns very little or nothing?

    Let’s be realistic SL Fabz. I’d love to hear from you.