Stephanie Linus Daily

Tag: Marriage

  • Talk To Steph: My Husband complains that I’m not attractive

    Hi Stephanie,

    I am a mother of two lovely girls. My hubby complains that I am not looking attractive to him because of my big belly and fatness. Each time I ask him to take me out, he will complain that he has no money. Despite my tight schedule at work, I did create time but he never takes me out. We have been married for 4 years now and he has never taken me out for honeymoon before. Please Stephanie, could it be my shape that is making him ashamed or no money to cater for the trip? I wish I can be more attractive than I use to be. 

    Dear Hope

    Firstly, let me tell you that you’re beautiful. God made everyone beautiful and you shouldn’t feel any less than that. 

    Secondly, from your words, I sense that you are uncomfortable with the way you look. If you are, then do something about it, not just for your husband, but for yourself. Do some exercise, change/watch your diet, take care of your hair and clothes, make yourself more attractive and feel good about it! With time, you’d notice that your husband will feed off that positive energy and give you the compliments you want to hear.

    I’d also advise that you make the first move and take your husband out. Most of us married women make the mistake expecting that our husband must make the first move in organizing date nights and fun times. It doesn’t have to be somewhere expensive, find a lovely place where the two of you can enjoy some time together and when he has a lovely time out with you, he’d want to go out more often.

    I hope this helps and I wish you the very best in your marriage.

    SL

    So, what are your thoughts on this? What do you think Hope should do? Please drop your advice in the comment box below.

    *If you have any kind of situation you need advice on and you’ll like us to discuss it here, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject: Talk To Steph.

  • HICC… Adam & Eve

    Hi SL Fabz,

    Another new month is here! Whoop!!!

    Happy New Month.

    Two Sundays ago, I was at the Harvesters International Christian Centre here in Lagos with my hubby for a program tagged Adam & Eve Special. This was a couple’s event where we shared our experiences about our marriage, our love and how we keep it together.

    We had an interesting time in the presence of God and His children and I pray that there will be a renewal of love in our marriages and our homes this new month.

    Here are some pictures from the event:

    img_6782

    img_6753

    img_6760

    img_6759

    img_6756

    img_6746

    img_6742

    img_6741

    img_6739

    img_6738

    xoxo

    SL 🙂

  • #MakeMeFabulous: How to renew your love

    My reality show debuted last week. If you loved the Asolo edition, you shouldn’t miss this week’s edition for anything! You are going to see how important it is to cherish the love you’ve got.

    We get busy, that’s a given. We get busy with work and distracted by so many needs and ambition.

    And that is ok. But we need to create the balance, because there are people in your life who deserve your attention.

    Your spouse is one, and your children.

    So how busy is too busy?

    Love that ignites the whole family and seeps into the heart and attitude of the children would first begin with the couple who decided to come together to live and grow a family in the first place.

    Are you taking our spouses for granted?

    Maybe not intentionally, but we get so busy we forget to see what is in front of us. Soon our love starts to suffer and all kinds of challenges begin to show.

    One thing is important: take out time from your daily hustle every other week to spend time together. Find somewhere you can sit, eat and stare into each other’s eyes.

    No, it is not an ‘oyinbo concept’. Black couples too deserve romance.

    That’s the essence of #MakeMeFabulous; that’s the gospel I am preaching this morning.

    So tell me, what have you done for your spouse/partner/lover lately?

    Share with the rest of us!

    xoxo

  • Should A Man Cook & Clean When He Has A Wife?

    Growing up in a typical African home, I learnt that some chores are meant for the girls and women while others are meant for the men.

    But as I grew older, I began to notice a reversal of roles. Some call it western influence, some call it development, while others would call it pure madness.

    We find in some homes these days that the woman is the bread winner. In others, men help their wives out in the kitchen to wash and clean. Lots of women are great drivers; while lots of men are excellent cooks and hairdressers… I could go on and on about different things men and women weren’t doing before, but do now.

    However, today, I’d like us to focus on the kitchen and domestic work. Is it ‘proper’ for a man to do the dishes and cook at home regularly? Remember, the emphasis is on regularly, I don’t mean just helping his wife out once in a while. If a man loves to cook and clean, should he stop doing it simply because he is married and now has a wife?

    Let’s discuss!

  • Three Amazing Years

    Today is a very special day for me. I’m sure by now you know why 🙂

    It’s been three amazing years of marriage with my darling husband and I’m so grateful to God for all his mercies thus far.

    I have so much to be thankful for, so much to celebrate, and its all because God has been so good to us. If I had to do this all over again, I will choose the same man. God bless you Linus Idahosa. You are one in a million.

    I’ve been overwhelmed by your kind messages and wishes so far. Today has been really special ‘cos every where I turn, every message I check, I see prayers and blessings.

    Thanks so much SL Fabz. You are the best!

    May your marriages continue to grow from strength to strength.

    xoxo

  • 9 Things Women Do That Men Love

    The truth about women – and the men who love them – goes beyond how they look or what they wear. Sometimes, its the less obvious attributes women have that get their man’s attention.

    So, ladies, I did us a favour by asking people, mostly men, about what gets their attention. Here are some of the responses I got.

    1. Flipping Your Hair: Women do this better with a hairstyle that has a front or side fringe. It might seem very innocent, but men love it when women do that. Trust me. I know.

    2. Adjusting His Tie: Ladies, do you sometimes reach for your husband’s tie and adjust it, even when it really doesn’t need to be adjusted… Lol! He might not say it, but he loves the thoughtfulness behind that action.

    3. Leaving Some Treats For Him: Most times, when I buy myself a treat, it could be anything from chocolates to a rare fruit, I leave some in the fridge for my hubby. It’s not about the price of the treat, but the thought behind leaving some for him that matters.

    4. Getting Your Makeup Done: I know most men grumble when they are about to go out with their wives and she is spending the whole time putting her makeup on. He might not like being kept waiting, but he likes the fact that you put extra care into looking good when going out with him.

    5. Acting Goofy: Sometimes, its cool to just act silly and childish. Men love this. You could do a silly dance or talk in a funny voice and just make the mood lighter. This brings about some healthy laughter which is great for any relationship.

    6. Cooking Rare & Tasty Meals: Most times, women think that because cooking is something they do regularly, there is nothing so special about it. I disagree. Men appreciate the time their wives spend in the kitchen cooking for them, especially if the meal is lip-smacking tasty.

    7. Biting Your Lips: When done the right way, with just enough eye contact, you are sure to melt your man’s heart.

    8. Scolding With Love: Men can act like babies some times…. leave their clothes lying around, messing up the house with litter, scattering their clothes moments after you arranged it! They know they did wrong, but the way you react and scold them lightly with love makes all the difference to them. They totally love it (even though they will do the same thing again).

    9. ____________

    I’d love to hear from you SL Fabz. Tell me one more thing women do that men love.

  • Frank Talk: The First Year Of Marriage

    After the congratulatory messages to newlyweds the next question usually is: “How is married life?”

    If the couple were to give an honest answer, many would agree that it is usually the hardest. The wedding is over, and the marriage begins. The transition from the “me” to “we” is not always easy for either the man or woman in a marriage.

    One major hurdle many couples face – especially in the first year is miscommunication. Marriage entails sharing, and a huge part of this would be in form of communicating to your partner. I do not claim that I have it all together , but here are a tips I have personally found very helpful:

      1. Do not make assumptions. Always ask or seek to understand what the other person really meant.
      2. Always remember that your spouse is not trying to hurt you. He/she has the best intention for you.
      3. You cannot read your spouse’s mind.
      4. Never use past experiences, family background or anyone else to judge your spouse.
      5. Never take your spouse for granted. If he/she does something worth appreciating, do not assume they know how grateful you are; say “thank you.” And in a situation where you have to admit you are wrong, do not hesitate to do so. It does not mean you are weak! It simply shows you are mature, and able to take responsibility for your actions.

    To every married woman or man reading this, I pray you find peace to weather every storm in your home.

    Stay Happy!

  • Talk To Steph: I do every thing a wife does but he hasn’t proposed

    A StephanieDaily reader, Ify, sent in this touching email:

    Me and my boo have been dating off and on for the past four years. We started in 2011, took a break when he traveled out for his Masters and got back together in January 2014. We both dated other people while he was away. He dated a white girl while I dated an older guy (old enough to be my Dad, age difference is 25 years) but it was actually a real relationship without financial benefits. So for me it was like dating a regular guy. I am a very independent lady. I don’t earn so much but I can take care of myself and pride myself on that.

    Anyways, my boo was mad when he found out that I had dated someone that old. He said I was a runs girl and that I had ruined the picture he had of me before he traveled. He still wanted to be in relationship with me and we started one. There were a couple of occasions when we would fight and he would bring up the past but with time that stopped.

    Fast forward to December 2014, we were robbed while I was traveling for the Christmas holiday and his car was stolen with all my luggage in it. I felt guilty and still feel guilty his car was stolen because he was going to drop me off at the park when the robbery happened. 2015 began and things have been very tight for us. We live together and we both make use of my car. We both have loans we are paying off. He has school loans, I have loans from the office. I have been the one providing for the both of us for the last 2 months but I don’t feel the strain. I do it because I love him. But I noticed recently that his temper is really short. He gets angry at the slightest provocation and says I don’t respect him. The thing is I don’t get where this sudden need to be respected is coming from because I do every thing a wife does when I haven’t even been proposed to. Every fight we have had this year is about me being disrespectful and I don’t understand it.

    I love him, but I don’t know if I can continue with this relationship with him being angry all the time. I’m scared he might get violent one of these days. Should I stay or should I go?

    Dear Ify,
    I know you must be very confused right now about the situation in your relationship, and I understand. Firstly, I’d like to point out that your boyfriend’s ego has been bruised with the loss of his car and his financial situation. No man finds it comfortable having a woman take care of his needs and that’s probably why he is taking it out on you. The ‘respect’ he is looking for is probably missing in his own eyes because he sees you have the financial advantage over him.
    On another note, I’d like to say that living with a man you are not married to is not the best choice to make. The fact that you do everything a wife does is no guarantee that he will marry you. I’d like you to think deeply about this and make a good decision that will be best for both of you.
    I sincerely wish you the very best and hope you find peace soon.
    SL Fabz, do you have any advice for Ify? Drop it in the comments box.

  • Stephanie’s Poll: How Much Should A Man Earn Before Getting Married?

    Some days back, while minding my business on social media, I came across this debate about the amount of money a man should earn before getting married.

    The debate was quite heated and interesting.

    Now, let’s properly analyze this. Here, I am referring to a man who is ready to settle down with a wife and have a family. This is considering the fact that the man would take up most of the financial responsibilities of the home and probably some from the extended family.

    Can we really put a figure to this income? Let’s try.

    A. Exactly or Below N50,000 Monthly

    B. Between N50,000 to N100,000 Monthly

    C. Way more than N100,000…. In fact, millions!

    D. It really doesn’t matter

    What is your choice? And why?

  • Talk To Steph: My Dad Won’t Let Me Marry A Christian

    A StephanieDaily reader, Zainab, sent in this touching email.

    I’m a 27 year old girl. I work in an Advertising Agency which doesn’t pay much but with time it will grow. My issue is that ever since my Dad has made it mandatory for all of us to marry Muslim guys, I haven’t met any Muslim guy that I can take home. I just don’t understand why parents are this stubborn. Most of my friends are married with children and I’m still here trying to find a good relationship. Even my ugly friends are married with children. I have prayed and prayed and I am loosing faith. I went as far as asking friends to please introduce me to their husband’s Muslim friends but nothing came out of it. I now ask myself if there is something wrong some where. Please how do I go about this. My Dad would rather die than let me marry a Christian. Please I really need your advice. I’m getting tired. Thanks.

    Dear Zainab, first of all, let me give you a big e-hug. I’m very sure you are a pretty and smart young lady and I’d like to remind you to have some confidence in yourself. Don’t think something is wrong with you if your friends get married before you. You are perfectly OK and in due time, you will find true love and marry the love of your life. We all don’t have the same timing in life. Perhaps God is preparing you, and him too, for the time you will eventually meet.

    You didn’t mention in your mail that you were in love with, or dating a Christian. It just seems to me from the tone of your message that there are more Christian guys around you or asking to date you than Muslims. I know this can be really frustrating considering your father’s warning. But most importantly, you have to ask yourself what YOU want because eventually, it would be you getting married and not your father. Of course, your father’s wish is very important, but let God and your heart lead you to the best man for you.

    I wish you the very best!

     

    SL Fabz, join in and give Zainab some good advice in the comments section.

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’