Stephanie Linus Daily

Tag: Dating

  • What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?

    One thing I find most singles struggling with is the signals they get from people they are dating or have an interest in. We’ve all been there before.

    Here is a common scenario:

    Guy meets girl. Guy initiates conversation. They go out on a few dates and girl starts to ask “what are we doing?” “are we dating?” “are we now a couple?” Guy says “yes, of course we are!”

    But, a few days or weeks later, he starts to pull away. He acts like he’s no longer interested and its so hard to get him on the phone to chat for those long hours like you used to. Dates are now few and far in-between and girl begins to wonder what happened.

    A good friend of mine once told me, “If a person is into you, they’ll move heaven and earth to see you.” And that’s what I’d like to share with single ladies and guys out there. Do not waste your time on a partner who does not recognize your worth. The moment you realize your worth, you shift your energy to attract new people who respect your worth. It starts with you first.

    I hope this resonates with you and that you value yourself more whether single, dating, or married.

    Share with me… what’s the best relationship advice you ever received?

  • Hot Topic: Would You Marry A 30-Year-Old Man Who Lives With His Mother?

    Hey lovelies,

    A young, unmarried friend of mine approached me with this question some days ago and I wanted to share it here to know what you think.

    Here is the scenario: The lady is in her mid 20’s and ready to settle down. The man is 30, met her at a work-related event and they clicked immediately. They’ve been dating for almost a year, met each other’s friends and are getting ready to take it to the next level by meeting each other’s parents. His father is late and he is an only child, hence, his closeness to his mother. His mother also has some health challenges and he’s been taking care of her since he lost his father 5 years ago. It’s never been an option to leave his mother and he never thought about it until she raised some concerns. According to him, his mother will live with them if they get married and he’s not going to change his mind.

    What would you do if you were in this situation? Would you go on with the relationship and eventually marry him, knowing you would be living with your husband and mother-in-law? What would you advise this lady to do?

    I’ll love to know what you think. Please share your comments below.

  • 5 Signs You Should Go On A Second Date

    The first date is always a significant measure of whether an attraction would lead to a relationship or not. It might be awkward at first, but as two people settle into the date and begin chatting, you begin to notice things about the other person that determines whether you want to go on a second date with him or her again.

    Here are 5 signs to make you know whether a first date would lead to a second one:

    1. When they go the whole date with our touching their phone: In this age of smartphones and social media, you find that most people would rather spend time on their phones while on a date than the person in front of them. If you find that your date is very distracted and prefers phone chatting to actually talking with you, this might be a good sign that the person is not really interested in you.
    2. He/she shows signs of respect: Did the person show up 30minutes late? Did he open the doors for you like a gentleman? Did he/she treat the waiter respectfully? The way and manner your date does some of these are signs of the kind of treatment you are going to receive if you do decide to progress into a relationship. Watch out for these signs.
    3. How engaging is the conversation?: You don’t really have to talk about your deepest secrets on a first date, but there has to be a good flow to the conversation. When you talk about yourself, is your date asking questions and engaging you? Or is he/she just smiling and nodding? If you have a good flow and the person has a genuine interest in you, there’s a good chance it might lead to a second date.
    4. You actually enjoy yourself: One of the first signs that you should go on a second date is that you really enjoy the first one. Don’t focus on whether your friend thinks the other person is good for you instead, pay attention to how you feel when you’re with them. If you enjoy yourself, it’s a good sign that you’ll enjoy the second date, as well.
    5. You have a lot in common: Every successful couple will have at least one or two things in common. To determine whether you should take on a second date, talk about your interests and find out if they align. Your date may not have EVERYTHING in common with you, but should at least have enough for you both to have a good balance in the relationship.

  • Stephanie’s Poll: Should A Lady Ask A Man On A Date?

    Hi SL Fabz,

    I’d like to read your honest opinion on this question.

    If a lady really likes a guy and knows he is single, should she go ahead and ask him out on a date? Let’s also imagine that she knows he likes her but might be constrained by some factors unknown to her. Is it proper for a lady to make the first move? Do you think there will be positive or negative consequences if she does so?

    Please share your thoughts in the comments section…

  • How To Know If A Guy Is Just Not Into You

    Hi Sl Fabz,

    So this post was inspired by the quote below. I couldn’t help laughing hard when I read it. I have been in that situation and I know a lot of ladies here can attest to this too. It seems like you’re the only one in the relationship or the only one trying to make it work while the other person acts like he just doesn’t care.

    These are a few thing to watch out for to know if a guy is really into you:

    No Texting/Calling
    If he returns your calls and text messages days after you reach out and ignores the fact that he’s been distant, something’s up. A person interested in you wants to build the relationship and communication is a major part of that.

    Daylight Outings
    Does he take you out in the day time? Have you two even seen the light of day together? Gone out in public? Are your outings always at night? If all you two do is chill at the crib, you may have already lost. Tell him you want to spend the day with him outdoors and see his reaction.

    Cancelled Plans
    He plans a date with you days before and cancels just hours before it starts. A guy who likes you won’t cancel and if he does, he’ll immediately make it up to you because he doesn’t want you to leave.

    No Personal Interest
    If a guy shows no interest or excitement over finding out who you are, it’s not a good sign. When we like someone, we can’t get enough. We want to know every story, every detail. If a guy shows no interest in your life, your hobbies, what you enjoy, etc., he’s really just not all that interested in you.

    Serial Flirt
    A guy who flirts with everybody isn’t shy, he’s going to go after what he wants. So if you’re hoping that he’s interested in you because he’s flirting with you, but he’s not making a move and he flirts with lots of other people, it’s a sign he’s not into you.

    Have you been in this situation before? How do you know if a guy/lady is just not into you? Please share!

  • Is It OK to take Relationship Advice from a Single Person?

    It’s okay to take advice from people who love and care for you, such as close friends and relatives who are single?

    Many people will argue that there’s a reason they’re single and to be honest, they should be focusing on how to change that,  and not be so concerned with  giving you advice.

    On the flip side, some single people can be so full of wisdom that they dish out good advice even in situations they have little or no experience in.

    For me, this is the way I see it: Your friends and family can be very bias when it comes to the personal responsibility because they see you in a different light than your spouse does. They don’t realize that you function in a different capacity as a friend than you do as a lover, so they’ll almost always side with you if they’re biased. 

    So most times, their advice is not biased because they are single, but because of the relationship they have with you. That’s the way I feel.

    What do you think? Is it OK to take relationship advice from a single person?

  • 5 Questions All Single Men Should Ask When Dating

    Yesterday, we discussed 5 Questions All Single Women Should Ask When Dating and I was encouraged by your responses. It’s good to know that we are taking our relationships more seriously and that we know the importance of asking questions before making assumptions about our partners.

    Now, let’s talk to the men today. Here are 5 questions I think every man should ask in a relationship before things get quite serious.

    1. What are you expecting from this relationship?
    It is crucial to find out what point she is in life. Women are very sensitive about this. Her answer may also be dependent on her age, for instance, the answer you get from a 30 year-old woman would be different from what you get from a 20 year-old. Don’t just assume that she is looking for the same things as you are in a relationship. Ask.

    2. Tell me about your family/ best friend.
    Women tend to be very attached to their family and friends. It’s best you know the extent of her commitment to them at the beginning. If she has a very close friend that she is attached to, that friend might be the subject of an argument later on if you are not comfortable with it. Also, her relationship with her parents might directly or indirectly affect her relationship with you in future.

    3. How do you manage money?
    Money matters are very important in every relationship. It could make or mar your relationship or marriage if that’s a plan for both of you. So be sure she can at least manage to keep a budget and not spend all of your money. On the other hand, she may be very prudent and be a better money manager than you so you can let her handle that aspect.

    4. What happened in your last relationship?
    This question applies to both men and women. Everyone needs to know this. Find out what led to the end of her past relationship and if she admits what her own faults were. This will help you both avoid making the same mistakes again.

    5. Can you cook?
    I know this is very important to most (not all) Nigerian men. If you are very particular about who cooks your meals, then you should find out if she can conveniently handle preparing you breakfast, lunch and dinner always. If you are OK with having a cook or a maid handling that, then it shouldn’t be an issue. But please don’t say you don’t mind whether she can cook or not now, and then make it an issue later on in the relationship/marriage. It also helps to ask what she loves to cook and if she is willing to learn how to prepare meals you like that she probably cannot handle.

    So, what do you think? What other question(s) should a man ask a woman whom he wants to have a serious relationship with?

  • Talk To Steph: Should I Date My Boss?

    I recently started working at this company after being out of job for almost a year. I love everything about my job except for one thing – my boss wants me to date him.

    I don’t really like him as a person and he is not married. Also, I think he is a womanizer. He has been pestering me for a relationship from the first day I set my foot in this office. It even started right from the interview!

    Although he is not the owner of the company, he is the branch manager and can make any decisions such as firing me.

    Should I pretend that I like him too and start a relationship with him to keep my job? Or should I refuse him and stand the risk of losing my job?

    I’m very confused. I don’t want to be broke again. Please help!

    Dear Miss S,

    I totally understand your dilemma and it’s very sad that you got caught up in this kind of situation. You don’t want to date your boss, and also, you don’t want to loose your job. It’s a very difficult web for any lady.

    I will advise that you stand your ground and don’t do anything you know is not right. Also, pray about the situation and tell God to turn things around in your favour. You’d be surprised at how things will turn out. Your boss could just get transferred or even if you lose your job, you will get a better one! Try not to do anything you will later regret.

    Stay strong.

    SL Fabz, join in and give Miss S. some good advice in the comments section.

  • Talk To Steph: The Broke Guy or The Rich Man?

    I’m 25 years-old and I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for a year now. He is not rich and doesn’t have a job but he is a website and Graphic designer and is still searching for jobs. I have been taking care of him and he stays with me but my parents don’t know he stays with me. He is God-fearing, loving and very humble but my parents do not like him because he doesn’t have money and because of his tribe too.
    I met a 42 year-old married man with two kids and he is very wealthy and likes me. He wants to help me in life financially on condition that I go out with him(sex). His wife is in the UK and only visits four times in a year says the man. I told my parents about it because I was confused on what to do. But my parents want me to agree to the man.
    I love my guy and he loves me too but friends keep saying my guy will leave me if he gets money or starts earning.
    Please help me here. Should I listen to my parents and cheat on my guy by going out with a married man because of money? Or should I still stick to my guy and let this man go? What if my guy does leave when he starts earning and I never get another helper like this man? Or will my guy stay and will my parents like him if he gets money? I’m so confused now… Please I need advice.
    Thank you.
    This message was sent in by Mariam. She sounds really confused and I can understand her dilemma.
    I’d say this to you dear, in no way is it right to have any kind of affair with a married man. Run away from this man as fast as you can and make sure you have nothing to do with him.
    Regarding your boyfriend, things could really get much better for him financially. Yes, some men have been known to leave their partners after getting some wealth, but that does not mean all men do so. You need to understand your boyfriend properly, and know the kind of person he is. Perhaps, he has some traits that makes you think he would do this to you. If there are any of such traits, you need to address them now and make a decision about your future so you don’t get badly burned.
    I hope this helps and I sincerely wish you the very best.
    SL Fabz, do you have any advice for Mariam? Drop it in the comments box.

  • Talk To Steph: My Dad Won’t Let Me Marry A Christian

    A StephanieDaily reader, Zainab, sent in this touching email.

    I’m a 27 year old girl. I work in an Advertising Agency which doesn’t pay much but with time it will grow. My issue is that ever since my Dad has made it mandatory for all of us to marry Muslim guys, I haven’t met any Muslim guy that I can take home. I just don’t understand why parents are this stubborn. Most of my friends are married with children and I’m still here trying to find a good relationship. Even my ugly friends are married with children. I have prayed and prayed and I am loosing faith. I went as far as asking friends to please introduce me to their husband’s Muslim friends but nothing came out of it. I now ask myself if there is something wrong some where. Please how do I go about this. My Dad would rather die than let me marry a Christian. Please I really need your advice. I’m getting tired. Thanks.

    Dear Zainab, first of all, let me give you a big e-hug. I’m very sure you are a pretty and smart young lady and I’d like to remind you to have some confidence in yourself. Don’t think something is wrong with you if your friends get married before you. You are perfectly OK and in due time, you will find true love and marry the love of your life. We all don’t have the same timing in life. Perhaps God is preparing you, and him too, for the time you will eventually meet.

    You didn’t mention in your mail that you were in love with, or dating a Christian. It just seems to me from the tone of your message that there are more Christian guys around you or asking to date you than Muslims. I know this can be really frustrating considering your father’s warning. But most importantly, you have to ask yourself what YOU want because eventually, it would be you getting married and not your father. Of course, your father’s wish is very important, but let God and your heart lead you to the best man for you.

    I wish you the very best!

     

    SL Fabz, join in and give Zainab some good advice in the comments section.

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’