Talk To Steph: The Broke Guy or The Rich Man?

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I’m 25 years-old and I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for a year now. He is not rich and doesn’t have a job but he is a website and Graphic designer and is still searching for jobs. I have been taking care of him and he stays with me but my parents don’t know he stays with me. He is God-fearing, loving and very humble but my parents do not like him because he doesn’t have money and because of his tribe too.

I met a 42 year-old married man with two kids and he is very wealthy and likes me. He wants to help me in life financially on condition that I go out with him(sex). His wife is in the UK and only visits four times in a year says the man. I told my parents about it because I was confused on what to do. But my parents want me to agree to the man.

I love my guy and he loves me too but friends keep saying my guy will leave me if he gets money or starts earning.

Please help me here. Should I listen to my parents and cheat on my guy by going out with a married man because of money? Or should I still stick to my guy and let this man go? What if my guy does leave when he starts earning and I never get another helper like this man? Or will my guy stay and will my parents like him if he gets money? I’m so confused now… Please I need advice.

Thank you.

This message was sent in by Mariam. She sounds really confused and I can understand her dilemma.

I’d say this to you dear, in no way is it right to have any kind of affair with a married man. Run away from this man as fast as you can and make sure you have nothing to do with him.

Regarding your boyfriend, things could really get much better for him financially. Yes, some men have been known to leave their partners after getting some wealth, but that does not mean all men do so. You need to understand your boyfriend properly, and know the kind of person he is. Perhaps, he has some traits that makes you think he would do this to you. If there are any of such traits, you need to address them now and make a decision about your future so you don’t get badly burned.

I hope this helps and I sincerely wish you the very best.

SL Fabz, do you have any advice for Mariam? Drop it in the comments box.

Dating Relationships

Comments

May 4, 2015

badejo tosin

If u date d married man and eventually u or he did not marry u then,then u got married to that ur same guy or another single guy I’m sorry a single lady would date ur husband what goes around comes around don’t date a married man I knw u would not love to share a husband with someone.. God will intervene nd make your guy faithful to you.

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May 4, 2015

jose

Men are simply different person when they are poor or jobless because u will see they true character of they guy when he gets a good job but there is nothing wrong in a girl helping out a guy without a job so see ur help to him as a charity work.going out with a married man for any reason, u do need any help here because u already know the answer to the question, there are too many rich and out and u can play game with them.

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May 5, 2015

Amponsah justice

No condition is permanent. So if you love your guy, forget about your parents and the rich married man and pray to God to see you two through.

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May 5, 2015

Onome

Please for the sake of your future marital life run away from the married man. Their are spiritual consequencies in dating a married man. Do not try it. They say parent bless marriages and as for the other guy’s issue listen to your parent. Since they said they don’t like him and the tribe he came from fine. Just leave him alone and be yourself.

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May 5, 2015

mudi obiomah.

To be absolutely candid,the only true answer to every of life’s confusion, doubts and fears is Jesus.take it from me mariam,man can only advice,him alone sees all now and the future,try talking to him.your comfort is in his hand not in a 42year old unfaithful husband.

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May 5, 2015

Audrick Mweene

Married men r not 2 go 4 its very dangerous.U wil jst recieve a curse in yo lyf stay away pliiiiiiz.put yoself in the married man’s shoes if it were u abroad nd another woman does this bhind yo back? stick 2 the single man,if there r bad traits with him mek things right whilest there z hop.

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May 5, 2015

BENI

well, there isnt much left to be said… Aunty steph has said it all and now its up to you to heed 2 her advice…be strong + not everything revolves around money esp Love and Happiness…
#BeniBlaq#

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May 5, 2015

lucas

it is not biblica and also its a sin for u to be dating a maried man I can also say u are stealing by trick .pls stay with ur boyfriend and tell him not to dissapoint you

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May 5, 2015

Lawrence Chelsea Mowezee

Both options that you have are wrong
first u dnt hav eny business stayin wit a man dat u are nt married to’ moraly and Biblicaly it is wrng.
Quit ur bf frm ur house and tel him to go get a life and com and marry if truely he loves u, and fr that married man frgt it, cus its a dead end

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May 6, 2015

Racheal Laye Edward

I totally agree with aunty steph though I’m against your cohabiting with ur bf. Help him if u can but he mustn’t live with you.

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May 7, 2015

Michaelmary

Make your choice between LOVE & HAPPINESS and sex & money. Your Love &happiness matters. Money will follow when there’s a standby Love. It doesn’t even matter when love’s in the house. There’re two roads there that you travel, death and life. Poverty has never damn any man. THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED IS THE BEST OF ALL. A soul who cannot take risk cannot live.

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May 9, 2015

Eno-obong Escor

My dear Mariam, you really need a time off to think and rearrange yourself. Firstly of all, you are very wrong to cohabit because cohabiting is a sin. You won’t tell us that you are living with that guy as your brother. You are definitely fulfilling marital duties to him. Pls if you really want to help him, render the help outside your house. Please have some dignity for yourself because he might not be your husband and you won’t like it when you remember such ugly past that would have been avoided.
Secondly, concerning the married man, my dear “God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows, that will he reap”. You don’t need any advice for this. Flee from him, if not you will be shooting yourself by the leg. And he even talked about sex. Please my beloved sister, “RUN AS LONG AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU”. Look unto God because He alone is the only provider that provides without a condition. For you to be paying rent and taking care of the guy in your house, that means you have a job. My sister, be satisfied with what you earn and plan your life according to that for now. Things will surely get better. May God bless you and help you make good decisions out of this in Jesus name. Amen. Shalom……..

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May 9, 2015

Eno-obong Escor

My dear Mariam, you really need a time off to think and rearrange yourself. Firstly of all, you are very wrong to cohabit because cohabiting is a sin. You won’t tell us that you are living with that guy as your brother. You are definitely fulfilling marital duties to him. Pls if you really want to help him, render the help outside your house. Please have some dignity for yourself because he might not be your husband and you won’t like it when you remember such ugly past that would have been avoided.
Secondly, concerning the married man, my dear “God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows, that will he reap”. You don’t need any advice for this. Flee from him, if not you will be shooting yourself by the leg. And he even talked about sex. Please my beloved sister, “RUN AS LONG AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU”. Look unto God because He alone is the only provider that provides without a condition. For you to be paying rent and taking care of the guy in your house, that means you have a job. My sister, be satisfied with what you earn and plan your life according to that for now. Go back and surrender to God. God will definitely bless you with a more deserving man that you will always be thankful for. Things will surely get better. May God bless you and help you make good decisions out of this in Jesus name. Amen. Shalom……..

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May 11, 2015

anon1603

My dear sister, I will give you candid advice. You are living with a man definitely not as a brother. You are giving him those extra privileges. But please, if you can do that with your bf who is offering you nothing (lets not forget your parents are against the relationship) why can’t you do it with the married man in which case you are “rewarded”. My own 2 pence tho. Imagine spending so much money on a guy. Lmao. If he leaves you nko?

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May 21, 2015

Rosecollet Udokwu

First,you should be happy that your guy has the skill in Website and graphic design, that he has no Job today does not mean he won’t get a great job tomorrow. Patience is virtue and if you really love him and not money, then I see no reason why you can’t wait with him in his trial time. The Married man you have in thought didn’t make it overnight and just delete him from your thoughts, money without peace is waste. Life calls results tomorrow in whatever one does today.

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May 21, 2015

gifty

u dont have to stay with a guy hu is nt ur husband.moreover u are performing marrital chores which is nt right .pls run away from the married man and advice ur guy to struggle n get a work n come back to marry u.if nt he wont try to struggle for u but only depend on u.luv him sincerely bt nt to stay with u.help if u can bt pls nt in ur house.God bless u

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