Talk to Steph!

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Hello Dearies!

Life is a roller-coaster, isn’t it? Sometimes you just want someone to hold your hand and listen to what you have to say. Challenges abound, and even though we may not have all the answers to all we are confronted with daily, we can build avenues where our fears, challenges and worries can be addressed.

You have that platform here. So share your issues and let’s see how others can help.

Emeka shares his problem…

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My Boss hates me!

Dear Stephanie,

I am being verbally abused by my boss, and I am just tired of it! I am a 37 year old man happily married with two kids. But lately I have been losing my temper quickly and I suspect it is my own way of handling the situation in the office. Last time I shouted at my wife for no concrete reason, and she said I have changed. I do not want to ruin the peace in my house and I do not want to lose my job. How do I deal with the situation? – Emeka

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How do you think Emeka should approach this matter with his boss?

Comments

August 23, 2012

Esnart

I really think its a good thing Emeka has realised that the situation at home is being affected by office politics. I suggest he talks with his boss about this and find a way to deal with it and meanwhile tell the wife where he is coming from before he ruins the peace at home. I hope at the end things work out for him and he should learn to leave office pressures the minute you walk out of the office learn to dirvoce the two.. Good luck!!!

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1. August 23, 2012
  
  frances-diaries
  
  indeed you have spoken well. God bless.
  
  Reply
August 23, 2012

ffyonnar

politely talk to your boss and confront him about the issue,if he doesnt change how he treats you look for another job otherwise it might cost you your family.

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August 23, 2012

nta constance chinyere

with God all things are possible, i will advise u commit it into God’s hand.and learn to take things easy because am equally facing the same where am working but i cant go because there are not already made job out there,but i believe God will do some thing soon.thanks

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August 23, 2012

isima stephanie obianuju

Emeka should have a discussion with his boss, ask the boss what he has done wrong that anything he has done wrong the boss should say it so that he emeka can apologise because his office matter now is affecting his family life. When he discuss with his boss that way i think things will be better of,

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August 23, 2012

stephanie

i love ur powder,d way it luks on ur face it didnt differentiate ur skin nd face,but ur lipstick is rather heavy. d eye shadows re splendid luv it,u didnt talk about fashion i mean wears.

Reply
1. August 23, 2012
  
  Amazon
  
  . . . ..and how is this comment relevant here under this post????????
  
  Reply
August 23, 2012

AMARA

HI I FEEL UR PAIN MAN BUT U MUST BEAR THIS IN MIND DAT NO ONE HAS THE POWER TO MAKE U FEEL BAD UNLESS U DECIDE ON UR OWN TO BE ANGRY. Y MUST UR BOSS OR ANY CO WORKER HAVE DAT POWER OVER YOU, THE ABILITY FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS MAKE U DAT UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL, AND PLS PLS DNT VENT OUT UR ANGER ON UR WIFE, THE WOMAN HASNT DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE DAT. LEARN TO KEEP WORK STRESS IN THE OFFICE WHILE COMING HOME SO U WNT CREATE A TENSE SITUATION AT HOME. TNX

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August 23, 2012

onyekachi

pls emeka be man enogh to handle challenges in ur life

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August 23, 2012

Joe

Emeka, most people have been in your situation but I will advise that you hold on to your job until you have something better to rely on. Remember you have a family. Your boss probably has seen something in you that he does not have or hasn’t seen some where else (I am writing from experience). Do not loose your temper at shouting at him because when you do, he’d have a reason to either suspend or think of firing you, which we don’t want to happen. Try searching for another job (which I know is a daunting task) but with God all things are possible. Hang in there, he’d show you mercy as long as you keep the faith.
SO, you have done it again with a blog, keep up your hard work, you sure know how to stay close to your fans…

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August 23, 2012

bola

Really want you to help out because am finding it very difficult I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ my working place, Am head of nursery I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ one of dis private school,am finding it very difficult to address pupil on d asembly and its really annoy people look at me as a dull person. Am too shy as a person.pls I need your help stephany.

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August 23, 2012

EMIENE

Emeka, please do forget what ever your boss tells you and focus on your job until you are able to get a better one, and please stop transferring aggression on your wife. she is your bundle of JOY. finanally put it in prayers.

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August 23, 2012

esther

I think he (Emeka) should talk things out with his boss, and learn to take things easy with Is boss. May God help u (Amen)

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August 23, 2012

Uju

I ve being facin a situation like that if not worst for more than 2yrs at my work place.My boss abuse and nag at every little thing and call me all sorts of names,i got to understand that is his personality and i ws able to build on it.leaving ur job is not an option cos there is unemployment problem in d country that someone else will immediately grab ur job once u re not there.u shouldn’t allow ur job to affect ur family life cos u wont ve a family without a job.so learn to tolerate ur boss and don’t forget to pray always.

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1. August 24, 2012
  
  America;The land of the brave
  
  Agree with you.
  Be patient until you get another job lined up and given an appointment letter.
  Talk with your wife, a burden shared is half way solved.
  
  Reply
August 23, 2012

ugochi

Emeka go to God in prayer and take every thing easy,discuss the problem with your wife and there will be better understanding between the two of you.

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August 23, 2012

scola

hello Steph
My boyfriend is a beast.
my name is Scola. i am 21yrs old and i have this relationship that i’ve been in for 2years 5months now. my boyfriend does not have any form of respect for me, he talks to me the way he likes, insults me and beats me up. he says bad things about me to people. things that are not even true yet he claims that he loves me. i have tried everything as a woman to make things work between us, friends and family have advised him to change, but he doesn’t see that as anything. he is too proud of himself, thinks he is superior over everybody. every time we have a problem, he sits and discuss me with his parent and to worsen it, the parents don’t like me, neither do they want their son to marry me. right now we are not in good terms. please help me, i don’t know what to do.

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1. August 23, 2012
  
  Amazon
  
  . . . . .so wot are u still doing there?
  
  Reply
2. August 24, 2012
  
  fav
  
  Did i just read ‘boyfriend’? Boyfriend beats u…r girls really still this dumb? N let nobody come here n mention love pls!
  
  Reply
3. August 26, 2012
  
  Fifi
  
  Commit suicide because you sure are stupid to come asking for help for that. I’m sure you think he loves you.
  
  Reply
August 23, 2012

sola

I think Amara is very rite…And also,put everything b4 God,he will surely ansa ur prayers

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August 23, 2012

Jan

Hi Emeka,

I’d suggest you take the following action; look for someone in a much higher position than your immediate boss and narrate your situation to him. Often times, we suffer in silence and in the hands of terrible bosses which later affect our career and personal esteem.

I had a terrible boss once who believed a woman’s place was in the kitchen. He’d come and bully everyone in the office leaving me out of it cos he knew I was a no nonsense person. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I reported him to a senior management staff. They investigated and founf out the truth and he was transferred to another region. So pls, take your destiny into your hands and deal with the situation or else the situation will deal with you.

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August 23, 2012

Augustine

I think he need to confront his boss and ask him for hi wrongs

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August 23, 2012

chukwubuikeaugustine

I think he need to confrot his boss and him for his wrongs

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August 23, 2012

Hawa

In life we go through challenging, emeka you have to talk to your wife explain what is happening in your office also talk to your boss ask your boss what you have done for him/her to treat you badly so that you will be able to say sorry to the boss, if still te boss not listening to you and treated you badly I will advice for you to get other job before you live this job so that you will be able to have peace and joy again and I advice you and your family to commite with God because with God nothing is too hard for the lord and all things are possible with God

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August 23, 2012

scola

hey people please can some one direct me on how i can share my own problem like EMEKA so i can get advice? i posted it under Emeka’s responses, but no one seems to notice it. pls i need help

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August 23, 2012

MMA

I suggest Emeka should try as much as possible to let work be work and his home be his home. Unfortuntunately, things might not change in the office for you as much as you want it. While you cannot control youir boss’ attitude towards you; you can control your attitude towards your family. It’s a personal decision that you have to make to make the ambience in your home exactly what you want it to be. All the best!

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August 23, 2012

suzzy

All emeka needs 2 do is 2 remember dat work is work and family is family. Work sum times can go but ur wife will always be there. So he shd learn 2 control his temper and share his problems wit his wife.

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August 23, 2012

ugonwa

All u nid to do is to separate work from family, though it is tough but am sure u can achieve it.
i faced such while working at my church office after my youth service, so its every where. Above all pray to God for wisdom on how to handle the issue as i strongly feel that your boss is going through some challenges which he does not know how to handle also tell your wife about the challenges at work so she does not think that she has a problem or that u don’t like her again. All the best.

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August 23, 2012

Obii

First of all, i want to sympathize with Emeka. i realize how difficult it is, trying to control yourself and loosing that control at the wrong time with the wrong person.
First go to God in prayer, that’s the top thing to do.

Emeka, please discuss with your wife, tell her what is going on so that she understands what you’re going through and not just make assumptions based on your recent attitude. As a family both of you could decide how best to handle the situation.

My advise? You should also stand up to your boss (Speak your mind) or find another job if nothing changes -this is to avoid you becoming a bitter person. there’s no reason why you should exert yourself working for someone,doing your best and still be dealing with abuse.

Money cannot make up for the loss of immaterial things in our life. you cannot give peace if it isn’t within you. The more you hate the job, the more your output is affected; Soon, you’ll be regarded as an under-performer at work.

keep a positive mental attitude Emeka, and God will favour you. You’re in my prayers.

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August 23, 2012

angele

hey Emeka
the success of all relationships be it personal or business related doesn’t have to be based on many facts… look and rely on that one reason that can make your relationship with your boss work. Be positive and try not to lose your cool. Above all seek divine intervention…Good luck

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August 23, 2012

Talatu Talatu

Speak up and tell your boss that you don’t like the way he treats you. If there is no change, just quit. He is not your God you will get another one.

Reply
August 23, 2012

allenjay

My! This is not strange to me… My boss also doesn’t like me for anything… If possible he would have sacked me.
My opinion, take your case to God. Now this is not religion, I’m talking practical action that has effective sure result. Tell God your problem and ask the host of heavens to deal with him. God is with you bro.
This is what I’ve been doing and God has been faithful. My boss has been confused about how to go about me and he has left me alone!

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August 23, 2012

Syl4eva

My dear,try find out why your boss is not fair to you

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August 23, 2012

stella

Put everything that seems good and bad to God in Prayer. God will deliver you and fight your battles for you, and you shall have your peace. Ask God for wisdom. Love your wife, each time she makes you feel unhappy, don’t shout at her, but reconcile with her before you go to bed, so that when you pray, God will answer you.For your boss in the office, do your work well, commit your job to the hands of the Lord and him will bless the works of your hands in Jesus name, AMEN.

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August 23, 2012

Ebere

This is a very common thing with most employers/bosses…………….my brother, pray for the grace to be patient enough because thats the only thing that can save you from them. then secondly, for you to be able to notice that its beginning to affect the way you relate with your family shows you are a man with conscience…….please no matter how he talks to u, being a man i know its difficult to accept that but since its this job thats putting food on ur table and taking care of ur family, just pray for patience to be able to endure till God gives u a better job or u set up ur own business.God will help us all.amen

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August 23, 2012

nony

@ Scola, U av said it all… Ur boyfriend does all dat to U, nd U still stay in d relationship? Ow on earth do U think dat wuld work? As a matter of fact u said his parents doesn’t like U. My dear there is no need for U to force a relationship, its sumtin dat is natural nd if u think ur nt enjoying it, its advisable to go ur own way. Ur nt in a bondage. Ur story touched me so much nd I can imagine wat ur going 2ru, but U av to let go nd move on wit ur life. Dis life is too short for U to live unhappy. Dats my own opinion…

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August 23, 2012

Debby

@Scola, I’d advise u to leave dat guy. For christ’s sake, he isn’t d only guy on earth and he can’t maltreat u lyk he owns ur lyf. My dear, u don’t need to be told to leave dat relationship. Ur common sense should tell u dat…his parents don’t like u and he doesn’t respect u. Pls leave its nt by force. Or is dere somefn still making u stay?

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August 23, 2012

Jenny

Scola, ure too young 2 start facing such problems at an initial stage of relationship. U av tried for 2yrs plus; if he can’t change now, no possibility of changing later. Gal mak up ur mind & move on….

Reply
August 23, 2012

Prince DoGood

Mr Emeka, i will advice you to pay ur Pastor a visit to pray over it and if u think u can do this urself fine… Wake up in the middle of the night and talk to ur God, remember! God said; “ask nd it shall b given” try nd do this then talk to ur boss belive me he will reveal every resons for his actions. Best of luck!

Reply
August 23, 2012

scola

@ Nony, Debby, and Jenny. i am really appreciating u guys advises. actually i made up my mind and left the relationship last month, but he came back begging, promising to not hit me again and to talk to his parents. one thing that lowers my self-esteem is that almost everybody who is from my village knows we are dating. this is America and marriage is not easy to come by u know…i jux think that no one will wanna marry me since a lot of people know me and this guy. this is what holds me back.

Reply
1. August 23, 2012
  
  Abena
  
  Scola with that warped mentality of yours,u would be the rug of any useless man!damn girl marriage isn’t everything,for crying out loud u are just 21yrs!u should be developing and upgrading yourself not focusing on boy matter.sorry but u have the mind of a teenager,please grow up!
  This guy doesn’t love u,love doesn’t behave in such selfish manner,no human shd lift a finger against the other!
  Girl love love love yourself and that it!
  Are ur village people the one he’s abusing?jeez u are such a child!
  Sadly,upon all the advice u have been given,I sincerely believe u would go bck to the douche bag!u are an abused woman and u tend to sympathizer with the abuser.
  Just remember if u do,u gonna be one miserable f**** woman.
  
  Reply
  1. August 26, 2012
    
    Fifi
    
    Miserable? That is if he does not kill her first. I am so angry at you Scola, your village people know you are dating, so what. Even if he has done introduction or even married you self you better get out of that relationship fast.
    
    The problem with us women is that we get so desperate and settle for whatever, must you marry your village man? You see why 9ger is not moving forward too much tribalism. Who told you he is the last man on earth and you will not find another, girl he is the one holding you back and not letting good men come see you. Better run for your life now before it’s too late.
    
    Reply
August 23, 2012

lovely

hummmmmmm so touchinggggggggg

Reply
August 23, 2012

Debby

@Scola, I’m also a 21 year old lady..he’s begging and u think accepting him back is gon do?? Trust me, ur digging ur grave. Leave him simple. Don’t accept his proposal of coming back. Let everyone knw u guys once dated. The special person will come for u one day. U r still 21 so dnt be in such a hurry cos dere is no late comer when it comes to marriage. Swthrt all I’d advise u do is to let him go..deres dis high
poSsibility of him repeating those things……he’s nt worth you.

Reply
August 23, 2012

chioma

Emeka. Learn τ̅☺ control Ʊя temper. Also be bold and stand up τ̅☺ Ʊя boss

Reply
August 23, 2012

Deborah Raymond

i I think the best way is for him to put everything in prayers. And he should learn to control his anger

Reply
August 23, 2012

Joyce

Emeka take all things 2 d Lord in prayers.

Reply
August 23, 2012

Paulinus Ikechukwu Okoro

Stephy, you do manly things, you have manly strength but you are beautiful, how I wish you were my twin brother!

Reply
August 23, 2012

Trendysturvs

Good he realized he has a problem, He should put everything to God in prayers.

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August 23, 2012

Trendysturvs

Its good he realized he has a problem, he should take it to God in prayers.

Reply
August 23, 2012

olajumoke

Sometimes in life, we go through these things to make us tougher or to make us more patient,whichever it is you are dealing with.However,with this issue, prayerfully commit it to God while you talk it out with your boss.I can bet, it will go a long way instead of throwing tantrums and shouting at your wife. she is supposed to provide succor, let her do her job and relax in her loving arms.

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August 23, 2012

aminat

I will advice you take some time off work (Like a 2 week vacation) . Sometimes stress really takes a bad route on us and if we are not careful we loose it all. After your break arrange a one -on-one talk with your boss, explain what you are going through and how it’s affecting your relationship at home. Bosses listen, they are human too but you have to be diplomatic when it comes to office politics.
All the best

Reply
August 23, 2012

mhiz_myrtle

Emeka, think and reflect upon your challenges.

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August 24, 2012

Danladi Kawai

Emeka. If u want advice then u must be open. You didn’t tell us about your action to enable us compare it with your boss’ reaction. U didn’t tell us what ur wife did before u shouted @ her either. I reasonably suspect that someone somewhere is threatening to blackmaile you. Not all men have the nerve to tell their wives the effect of their extramarital affairs. Not all men can confess to their boss the real truth and be free.
Just open up and we will honestly advice you. Among all the list of advisers choose anyone you feel can be of help to you, mail him or her and I am sure he/she will be willing to address your issue.

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August 24, 2012

Stephanie Oduenyi

the first stage is making a mistake and realizing its a mistake, you need to speak with your self a lot more, what happens in the office should stay in the office,

your wife and kids shouldn’t pay the price for your anger, there is stress everywhere, in every work place, relax, take a deep breath and live eac day like its ur last day….. you need to learn to manage your anger, that shows how real a man you are…..

cheers

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August 24, 2012

gifted gift

Emeka should be more Prayerful about his office and his home,,,God help him.

Reply
August 24, 2012

mark

When U̶̲̥̅̊ know what ur problem is, then it is half solved.emeka U̶̲̥̅̊ need to realize the fact that U̶̲̥̅̊ don’t take decision when U̶̲̥̅̊ are mad

Reply
August 24, 2012

N. Johnkennedy

Emeka shld tak tins easy & accept it as 1 of thoes tryin moments 1 has 2 go tru in life. He has all it takes in him 2 surpress wat ever pressure 4rm d office & keep on prayin 4 d grace 2 overcome . As d sayin goes ‘hard tym don’t last bt hard men do’. Takia.

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August 24, 2012

Eugenia

Emeka should take things easy. i need him to go to God in prayers. share d office situation wit d wife. so dat they can pray together, and win together.

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August 24, 2012

obiageri chibueze

confront ur boss talk to him man to man,so dat u know why he is acting lik that to u. always show him luv nd b careful.make ur family a happy place to b so that whenever u cum home 4rm work u feel happy no matter what u faced in d office dear.

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August 24, 2012

Oge Ann

@ scola
if u decide2 go bak 2 dt guy u r just lyk a person who wants2 go and learn how to swim in an ocean
Infact only one comma out of all d commas in his lyf that u gave o is enuf2 leave him
ah ah
pls4 christ sake
The guy doesn’t dserv u
u r 2 much4 him
The nxt tym he approaches u, let him kno dt u v jst bn “managn” him4 2yrs… and u can no longer do dat
biko o
FULLSTOP

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August 24, 2012

Issuesoflife

Let your wife know the situation at hand. Marriage is about sharing, once you have shared it with her both of you should join hands and pray for your boss.

There is power in agreement especially an agreement done with your life partner, do not hide things from her but tell her everything and bring every thing together TO THE THRONE OF GRACE.

You would definitely get answers, it’s either you get a better job, or God would move that boss away on your behalf or God would promote you, remember God promised his children they would find favour even with their enemies.

Also, God can let you stay there for a while because he can turn every sadness for gladness through making you learn to endure or handle matters a lot better. It could also be he wants you to learn something through that experience so when you are uplifted you can handle things better.

Also try your best to always give an excellent service at work despite how you are treated, keep praying and trusting on God WITH YOUR WIFE. This too will pass, learn whatever you need to learn from the experience and get closer to your wife and God especially.

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August 24, 2012

Rukky

Hello Emeka, my advice to u is to confront your boss. Not rudely but calmly. speak to him or her about how he or she treats u,then tell ur boss how it ia affecting you as an individual. take it from there first, then pls dont bring ur problems from work to ur home,it can destroy ur marriage. ur wife should be your confidant, try talk to her, tell her the problems you are facing. lean on her, thats whats she is meant for.

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August 24, 2012

Joan Taylor

I work in a Human Resource department and this type of harassment need to address to Human Resource Department, there are laws that protect this employee from such unethical behavior, but if he does not report it, he won’t be able to get the help he needs and there will be no record on file is future action is required. This is a hostile working environment, because he is taking the frustration home to his family. I know the economic is hard and everyone is trying to hold on to their job, he need to stand up for his right, this type of behavior from his boss is unethical and should not be tolerate by no one under no circumstances.

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August 25, 2012

katey

Honey, I am a living witness to your ordeal. Mine lasted for 2 and a half years. I was miserable and scared stiff of reporting my boss to the authorities. I complained to my boss and to senior colleagues all to no avail. I hated my job ..I told my family I will resign and they refused. Thank God for them. I went to our overall boss, downtrodden, harassed, humiliated and told him I wanted to be moved to another dept/office that I have had enough and there and then he moved me and now I have peace! Peace that passeth all understanding. Report your boss. He has no right whatsoever to make you miserable! He begged to apply just like you did!

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August 25, 2012

snowhite

You know Emeka God created everyone with a heart and i know if you tlk to your boss with this quiet and understanding kind of way he will listen to you. Maybe he could be having problems at home and just like you he diverts it to you by shouting

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August 25, 2012

uche

@Emeka take care of your family,that is most important,that is in your hands and no body else’s! You should learn to communicate with your wife let her know what you are passing through at work or any other place that’s what she’s there for to help you in all things. Communication is very important in every relationship. As for your boss I think you should reason with him too,hopefully he will see reasons with you and adjust. But failing that look for another job or better still set up a business of your own. The system in Nigeria is all whacked and croocked if not what you are passing through should not happen at all cos there should be modalities set out to protect both the employer and the employee from unnecessary intimidations and abuse at work places!!

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August 25, 2012

Stephen Ogege

Mmm, quite unfortunate. What U nid do is understand the power of “ignoring” , patience and prayer. Ignore the damaging words of ur boss but also reason dem out cos he just might be trying to communicate something to but not doing it d right way. Put it all in prayer, and den be in a patient watch 4 d answers 4rm God. Watch d home video play till ur desired end. Relax bro, God dey ur syd.

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August 25, 2012

chidi clifford

de bible said,the heart of a man is in de hand of God,so put ur boss in de hands of God n u ll see what ll happen.

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August 25, 2012

jay

I think Emeka has to work on mental state!!He should always drop his boss’s issue the minute he closes 4 work!!He should do what he has to do in the office..Cos no matter he does,its obvious he can’t please his boss!!So the problem is,he is scared of losing his job..But whatever would be would be..If God be for us..Who can be against us!!

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August 25, 2012

Nkeasi Joan

Emeka you are truly a good man, all i will tell you is to take care of your family because if you are happy in your house then there is no reason why sadness will come your way in the office so each morning that you enter the office take time to pray and ask for Gods guidance and you will see how he will do wonders in your life and happiness will accompany you in the house and also in the office

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August 27, 2012

darmie

PlzZzzz emeka believe IN̶̲̅» God a better job and be calm with υя wife ……….God is υя strength.

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August 27, 2012

Cathy

If his boss is approachable then he should talk to the boss and explain to the boss how he’s been affected by it, if not he should start searching for other jobs while putting prayers up.

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August 28, 2012

GLADYS

I MUST SAY AMARA HAS SPOKEN VERY WELL..EMEKA SHOULD KNOW NO ONE HAS THE POWER TO MAKE HIM SAD , DEPRESSED OR ANGRY UNLESS HE DECIDES TO BE, HE SHOULD TAKE CONTROL OF HIS EMOTIONS.. AND OVER POWER HIS EMOTIONS.. SECONDLY, EMEKA SHOULD TALK THINGS OUT WITH HIS BOSS. EVERYONE HAS HAS SPOKEN WELL…PUT IT TO GOD IN PRAYERS,LEAVE OFFICE THINGS IN THE OFFICE DON’T TAKE THEM HOME…FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING WRONG TAT MAKES HIM HATES YOU.

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August 30, 2012

Annabel

hi steph,
i need to see you to share my issues with you because i want to be like you make money,fame,and be intelligent and smart,infact i love everything about you.this my contact:07032466208 call me in your own time ok.

thanks.

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August 30, 2012

‘Toyin

Dear Emeka,
you really have to be strong and confrontational about this matter. first of all, kindly run a self t est and find out why your boss hates you. he can’t possibly hate you for no reason or right frm ur first day@ work. once you deal with that, then have a tet-a tete with your boss and find out why he hates you. As for your wife, kindly discuss these issues with her cuz she is supposed to be your best friend. That way, she would understand your moods whne you get cranky

Reply

Talk to Steph!

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