His lies broke my heart!

I have been dating a guy for 4 years. When we met he didn’t have a job, he didn’t have any real focus in life. As a Christian, I gave him hope, I loved him and helped him through those tough moments in his life when he was confused and hopeless. There were many times I gave him money to do things and I never asked to be refunded because I felt he was my friend and partner. Finally, with help and prayers and financial/emotional support from me and my family, he got a job and was able to decide the path his life should take. He always seemed genuinely grateful for all I did for him. But after 4 years together I discovered it was all a lie! I found out this man who had sworn to love only me, this man who had confessed he would never leave me, was actually dating someone else even longer than me (they’ve been dating for over 8 years), and they have a 7 year old son together! I learnt that he was so frustrated by the relationship initially that was why he left her in the East and came to Lagos to sort himself out – all of this information just came out a few months back when one of his relatives was burdened with guilt and decided to tell me the truth. Now that he is sorted with a good job, he has sent for this woman and their son (they are not legally married) to join him in Lagos and has refused to pick my calls. I gave 4years, lots of money and all my emotions and love into this relationship. The problem now is, I am pregnant (I have irregular menstrual period so I didn’t know until it was 3months) and when I told him, he just said if I want to have the baby I can have it, without any feelings or care. Was it wrong to have loved this man? I feel so hurt! I know people will just say I should move on and start all over again with my unborn child, but is it easy? Why do people hurt other people so badly?! – Ifeoma

My people, Ifeoma needs some comforting words and some advice. Please your comments might help her through this very confusing and hurtful phase. Thank you all!

–          Stephanie

Comments

  1. samsie Avatar
    samsie

    I can only say Jesus!

  2. bibi Avatar
    bibi

    Broken things can be blessed things if you let God do the mending…….yea, it hurt so much, you are tempted to get rid of everything but just know that God is not asleep, he sees your every tears, he knows every pain you bear, be strong, hold onto his word…just pray, vry to him and let him do the mending…..you will be healed and all things will turn around for your good….Be strong, hugs!!

  3. fatima Avatar
    fatima

    Something very similar happened to a friend of mine, and what was worse was that the guy claimed the woman was his sister initially! You deserve better than this, you should pity the other woman because she is living with a snake. Move on with your life even though its hard to forget. Time will heal you.

  4. Mister John Avatar
    Mister John

    Actually, some men are very ungrateful. I don’t know which words to send to heals my sister’s broken heart. But if you cannot get your rewards on earth you will surely get it in heaven.

  5. honey Avatar
    honey

    Dere iz alwaz a reason for everytin d wayz of d lord oz nt d wayz of man so my dear move on take care of ur baby God knws best

  6. ugonwa Avatar
    ugonwa

    My Darling Ifeoma, it happened to me as well doh we never slept with each oda! Just let go and let GOD! D ryt attitude hurts doh it pays @ d end of d day. Pls do not curse him, just kip thanking God cos HE commands us to do so in everything….I wish I can spk to u one on one. God loves U!

  7. ngozi jessica ozoemena Avatar
    ngozi jessica ozoemena

    My dear, Lies is common among men, but i assure u, God will fight for u nd ur unborn child. Jst talk to God about it nd ask for grace to carry on with ur life.

  8. Talatu Talatu Avatar
    Talatu Talatu

    In every mess there is a message and in every disappointment there is a blessing. I know its painful, and its a set back for you but just allow God to handle this situation. Stop complaining to people who cant help, report the matter to the guys boss (GOD) and allow God work in a way that will surpass you expectations.
    Forgive him from your heart, so that you can give God room to handle this issue ………. believe me if you allow God handle this issue, you will come out with SMILES.
    Pray to God, fast if you can, cry to him, tell him how your hurting and he will come to your rescue.

    1. wonani mkandawire Avatar
      wonani mkandawire

      amen!!

    2. Uju Avatar
      Uju

      I know you mean well talatu but it’s ok if she pours her heart out to us though we do not know her nor does she know u. I believe it’s her own way of grieving and that way she can let the hurt go without realising it. I also believe thst since we are made in God’s own image, he will offer his comfort and advice through us and in his words from the bible too.

  9. Tijani Olalekan Avatar
    Tijani Olalekan

    This is actually touching. i know it is not easy but with God all will be well. God will see u through in Jesus name.

  10. innocent Avatar
    innocent

    If you. Have. Followed the Bible partarn of no marriege no sex as you said you are christian in your story all this would be very easy to put behind you never theless He is a mercifull God ask him to re -mold you.he most have made his comparisnm and make up his mind.

    1. Uju Avatar
      Uju

      Mr. Innocent I beg to differ as even the 2 or so person that commented said she never slept with the man but he still broke her heart. There is. No hard and fast rule especially when it comes to life and matters of the heart.

      1. clare Avatar
        clare

        I love u 4ds reply 2mr innocent…muah!

  11. Confidence. Avatar
    Confidence.

    U just ve 2 prove 2 him dat lif could b beta with or without decitful piple lik him.Try n pik up d pieces n put dem back 2geda no mata hw dificult it may seem.

  12. AWO Avatar
    AWO

    Some things happen 4 a popuse just. B prayerfulll

  13. Nwakaego Ihesiulo Avatar
    Nwakaego Ihesiulo

    Ify,it may be difficult to bear but p/s put yourself together,try & be happy & forge ahead,open up to your parents,they will surely support u thru this trying period but most especially rely on God totally,d mistake hv been made & there is no way u will drag a man who has a son to marry u.Wen u put to bed,just forge ahead with ur future find something to keep urself busy & make God ur bestfriend.God is d only one dat can’t disappoint.

  14. Uju Avatar
    Uju

    It all history nw just take it easy, b extra careful so such history won’t repeat it self.

  15. Uchechukwu Avatar
    Uchechukwu

    It’s a sad story, if u ask me the did has been done, so u have to pick up the pieces and move on. There is noting better u could do than to move on with your life because you still have brighter future ahead of you, he is gone and he’s not likely to come back again so put him and everything that happen behind u and look forward because good things are always in the future. It’s difficult yes, it is, but you won’t continue to live like that so, i ask u to move on.

  16. Bash Avatar

    Sup,seriously,i felt reli bad 4 u..buh dat sudn’t b d end of journey 4 u,lyf goes on despite d fact dat it isn’t gonna b easy..buh du rememba d word of God dat says:oh ma people bewared wit every hardship comez ease.”DEN gose again:verily wit every hardship comez ease…ohm ma dear sista hop u blend wit wat av jst spitd….fanx

  17. peter Avatar

    Pls go on n keep d baby n be strong; don’t ever think of getn rid of dat baby cos d baby might be another way God wants 2 use 2 bless u; God knows u by name; he know d problem u r facing right now; he’s a merciful God; he can never let u suffer; he must surely see u through; but pls pray n keep on praying cos there’s nothing prayer cannot do! wish u Gud luck.

  18. EPOSI IKOME Avatar
    EPOSI IKOME

    my dear accept my sympathy, i just know how u’re feeling, but what ican say is that keep this unborn baby and forget about that social climber and scornback foolish dupe of a man;coz nothing good comes out from such people; and know that God has a very good reason for allowing things to happen in our lives. Every dissapointment is a blessing, and God’s grace can’t take us where his glory can’t reach us. my dear courage and know that we shall always be with u in prayers.

  19. Derah Avatar
    Derah

    Babes keep the pregnancy, u uplifted him u can also bring him down buh be smart bout it

  20. Cathy Avatar

    wow!!! you can turn around your mess to blessing because #GOD is still in the business of touching lives. Maintain your spiritual life and plead for His grace this very moment, He will see you through no matter what you feel you are going through right now. Be watchful and stay away from the man. Trust in him totally.

  21. ana Avatar
    ana

    My dear, pls take heart. It has happened and you need to move on. Stephanie pls give me your email add cos I need to send my own story to you. Pls reply via my own email.

  22. ayomidetosexy Avatar
    ayomidetosexy

    Let go and let God ve his way in you

  23. sylvia Avatar
    sylvia

    My dear Ifeoma, I know its not easy but girlfriend you have to move on. I wouldn’t advice you to terminate the pregnancy, NO! Have your baby and forget about him. He never loved you, if he does, he would have opened up to you the very first day he met you. God will give you your own man. It’s painful but just try to forget about him and move on

  24. christiana Avatar
    christiana

    i know letting go of d hurts is not as easy as it seems but by d grace of God u can.what has happenned cannot be reversed so u hav to move ahead with ur life and plan on how to give ur child the best of love and material needs irrespective of the circumstance about his/her conceptive.my dear until u let go of ur past ,u don’t hav a future.l pray u meet a man dat will love u and ur child wholeheartedly.we all make mistake and become wiser.trust d lord,surrender all ur troubles,fears,pains,his shoulder is big enough to carry them and u will neva remain d same ijn amen

  25. Tomi Avatar
    Tomi

    My Dear,its really a sad story..!t all I knw is that with God’s grace and Mercy u will get there…just pick up the pieces of your life and move on…hand ur life over to God and see God working wonders in ur life…stay blessed darln

  26. snowhite Avatar

    Truth is he will come back to ask for your forgiveness don’t hold on to him forgive him. If you decide to think of him all year long it won’t stop the next day from coming so my dear he was not good for you and the future has far more better guys for you who will accept u for who u r and the single mom u’ve become let him go he is not worth it.

  27. cynthia williams Avatar
    cynthia williams

    Is well yes it hurt. Cry about it ,talk about it. But remember the sooner u shake It off the best cos u re carrying a budle of joy that need ur attention nd care. All u need now is ur God nd ur family. Pls ur baby needs u to be strong. Be strong my love.

  28. abigail paul Avatar
    abigail paul

    Just know dat God is on the throne n he will judge. Don’t worry time will heal ur pain n u will fine someone hundred times better dan him. Just take care of u n ur baby n always put God first in everything u do n he alone can see u thur.

  29. collins Avatar

    There’s always a reason for everything. We should learn help and not expect anything in return. He is a cruel liar n cunning person. Ify God put u tru dis so u can learn a lesson. This shoouldnt be the end of the road for u. There’s a man for U out there. The earlier u let go the earlier u meet him. So sowie abt everything. FORGIVE him. God forgave u and Loves U.

  30. ada Avatar
    ada

    Its painful!I hv been there.I cursed d person in question.Now, I forgive him bcos u can’t get ur miracle if u dnt forgive.Forgive him for ur own good. Tell God u r sorry for ur sins,sincerely from ur heart.Give urself wholly to him in prayers.Trust him completely.He neva fails. He is Alive!

  31. Adjua Avatar
    Adjua

    She shud just try and move on,I believe someone better is coming her way buh she shud knw that,d guy will never have a genuie smile on his face all his life……….I’ll always have u in my prayers

  32. chioma triciakiel Avatar
    chioma triciakiel

    Dat is men for u..they are a bunch of ingrates.. Its a pity u have to go thru dis but m̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ advice is once bitten twice shy. Ur story is similar to mine ina way but av learnt m̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ lesson and dnt think I will ever fall inlove again.. Men are beast…

  33. Tolulope Avatar
    Tolulope

    Ify, I know its gonna be hard to move on but you have to keep strong and move on. God will heal your broken heart. Just focus on making the best out of your life nd out of your baby. Your baby and those that care for you need you to be strong. God will send you a man who will love and accept you. Tkia

  34. pattyclues Avatar

    Just turn to God dear, cos he ļş τhξ only one that can help U̶̲̥̅̊
    .

  35. Biso Avatar
    Biso

    That boy is a bastard abeg but karma is a bitch. He will get whats coming to him pls leave judgement to God n God will surely fight for you. Keep your baby thats you joy i know it aint easy but truss me dat bastard will be back to beg you n ur baby.

  36. numa Avatar

    this man is not a good man for thas why god show u his secret dont be mad be happy god no ther best

  37. rasheedah Avatar
    rasheedah

    There’s a reason for everything and every disapointment is a blessing. God has His own plans for you. Pray to God to direct you.

  38. Carchi Avatar

    Hmmnn, there r worst cases happening out there yet they stil make it thru. u’re blessed to get advice from all concerned persons here,,,however, d ball lies in ur court. I wont say u shouldnt cry or be bitter for a little while but try as much as possible to convert ur xperience to positive energy around u & others. I can keep going on & on & on….d most important step is to brace up my dear! Brace up!!

  39. Agboola Abimbola Avatar
    Agboola Abimbola

    pla take heart dear and i want u to no maybe it was never meant to be and i pray God will compensate u bountifully. the lord is ur strength.

  40. kale Avatar
    kale

    Y r some men so cruel..sometims I wonder if at infant,their parents ever preached d word of God or they attended sunday schools n learnt anythng at all. Its so disheartening 2 read such stories,I thot mine was a peculiar situatn but I c dat dese men r jt permanent clingers or parental seekers seeking for whom 2 devour! May God grant u strength n comfort as u overcome ds horrid ordeal (Amen)

  41. ime essien-gagara Avatar
    ime essien-gagara

    Dear friend, nobody truly knows anybody,the years spent together cant accurately tell the real person in a person. So have faith,trust in God,as it is, HE is the only comforter,faithful friend you need.

  42. choice Avatar
    choice

    Oh dear! How hurting! Oh oh … It’s ok sweet heart. U should be grateful to God. God have seen things won’t go well in de future n dat u may through more pains n suferings. May be if he marries u, n de oda wife finds out, she may kill u or make u sufer. God doesn’t want u to sufer cos u don’t deserve to. God has good plans 4 u. Worry not, all wiil be well.

  43. priscilla Avatar
    priscilla

    Some lessons in life are best learned through pain,just cry all the pains out,let go and let God…is never too late to move on*much love*

  44. JOB ALI Avatar

    My dear am hapi it hapun so,becose God let it happun 2 show u de right person,nd dt is me dt God hv been keepin 4 u all dis weil!hmmmmmmm,STEPHANIE!i hv said my own ooo,u 2 sud try reason it wit me,if am right or nt!i hv been dearm abt her all dis weil nd she is dere waestn her tym 4 de wrong person!babe pls cm bak 2 ur home,stpn help me tlk 2 her.

  45. Gooby Avatar
    Gooby

    As they say, there is always light @ the end of the tunnel. So my dear, it’s bn 4 yrs and it seems like d world is about 2 come to an end 4 u; jst hang on, ur light, breakthrough, redemption are coming vry soon. Our God never forgets His own in times of trouble.

  46. Leerato Avatar
    Leerato

    Cry if u want to but think of ur child and know dat it wasn’t all bad. A child is a blessing, look at it that way. Be positive

  47. ehi Avatar
    ehi

    option (1) take ur time to cry and lament,when u r thru terminate the pregnancy…ask God for forgiveness and move on with ur life….option (2)u can keep the child if u ve wht it takes to raise a child. such child will need all the love he/she can get. God bless and give ur the grace to move ahead

  48. Rose Avatar
    Rose

    I’m sorry hun, but please take heart. I’m also a single mother with four kids I have been and four relationship that didn’t work out. There is nothing that’s impossible for God so please pray and ask God for direction, he would give you the strength I can give you he will guide you to the direction I can direct you. Don’t worry

  49. chinazom Avatar
    chinazom

    Some men are not just ungrateful, most men are!! They take advantage of women more than women take advantage of dem. My dear sister I hope you are reading all this comments, as it is rite now I am going through the same problem thou ours is just 1 year buh I have put a lot into it. My advice to u? Draw closer to God. Dia is dis feeling I get when I knw my life has changed. Another thing? Avoid sin as much as possible. And trust me you will give your testimony. Don’t ever chase after guys. If there is a man for you, God will bring him your way. God is wit u and gud luck

  50. kourtney Avatar
    kourtney

    Sweetheart am so sorry abt dat. Your reward is in heaven OK!!!. Move on cos he will come begging on he’s knees.

  51. ozeke sophia Avatar
    ozeke sophia

    Sweet, trust me,most of us women are created nd sent by GOD to build nd to make a man out of a boy,its just that we expect too much in return as a prize for what we’ve done for them. If a man isn’t yours he is just not yours,he has to make move at d appointed time for your real man to come by. I’ve witnessed your story before nd I know till today that d father of d child has always wish to spend a second with that child,the child you have now is d prize of your hard work so embrace it. GOD won’t give you a load that you can’t carry.

  52. Allwell Nma Avatar

    Ify, your story is so painful but God is by your side. It has happened to me though, I wasn’t pregnant for him. With my money and everything but now I am living well and he is suffering in pains. God will see you through.

  53. Bukky Avatar
    Bukky

    just take it as if nothing has happened. i must be sincere with you, there nothing new under the sun. please my dear cheer up!

  54. cj Austin Avatar
    cj Austin

    my dear, it suprised me dat a christian can make such mistake in life, cos d bible is d compass of every christian, just remember dat d bible said dat d heart of men are deceitful bt its only God dat knows it nd the thought of every man. If u had prayed enough nd hear frm God u wont make such a mistake bt never mind God is ever merciful nd i know He will turn all ur sorrows into joy just go back to God and ask for His mercy nd u will see dat all dos tings u tot dat ur own is finished its only a way God is using to make u meet d right person for u. Dont be sober i know wen God is working for our own good we always tink dat He has forsaken us. For d child keep it every ting is for a pupose.

  55. Oby Ejiofor Avatar
    Oby Ejiofor

    My dear Ify, I think d best & wisest thing 2 do nw is 2 have ur baby & move on wit ur life. I knw its nt going 2 b easy bt b strong & courageous God will see u through.

  56. link Avatar
    link

    LET IT GO!!!… GOD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU!!!!…. NO! HELL NO….NOOO WAY……
    Ifeoma, that guy does not deserve to go freely. something or someone must force him to face his responsibilities. if families can not do it, ifoema, you got to fight to do it. you got to do it. it is not for you but for your baby. and please for my brothers and sisters, please, do not call that guy a christian. ifoema you got to fight and if you don’t have necessary fun I would ask every body to stand and send something. it’s happening everyday, yes! but we can start facing that case somewhere. he abused you, stole you, lie to you and above all harming an unborn human being and all seems to tell you to let it go and move on. HELL NO. you spend your money for him and another woman will enjoy, he will enjoy. am a cool man but if it happen to my sister, that guy would not die in my hand but would wish to by himself. that’s why I love tradition. in old days you will be Carry straight to his house and all will make sure he face his responsibilities well. please efoema and all the woman it happening to, you are doing the right thing to deal with those guys. and God will reward you for saving others from evil. because letting go freely those negative mind is to allow that to happen to someone else. its a heavy duties but at the end no mater what comes through, your heart will feel more OK than admitting it. take a deep breath, hang on and deal with him. we all with you. also something you will need strongly, your baby. he or she will be your strength and your voice in this fight. he or she is an innocent child, full of life-hope so do not cut that from him. God bless you Ifoema

  57. Fairy Avatar
    Fairy

    One word…. She needs to be strong. Moving on or letting go will be hard, forgiving will be almost impossible. But having financial security is an advantage. Simply take it a day at a time, a step at a time and one day u’ll realize its over….U moved on.
    the sad thing is dwelling on revenge, payback or hurting him back will only cause you may pain and make you invest tangible emotions into a worthless cost. Turn to God, ur family and ur friends and try to get past this. Children are blessings regardless of their source (so i’m told).

  58. itohan Avatar
    itohan

    I will advice to keep d baby and move on, forget about d useless man. A proverbs says when a door closes, anoda better one is open. So don’t worry, God will beautify ur life wit a better man and a beautiful man. He will crawl begging bt dnt give him anoda chance ooooo cos he might leave u again. So my sista, keep dat bundle of joy and move on, forget abt him and God will bless u aboundantly in everyway, always pray to God 4 assistance.

  59. Kenechi Avatar
    Kenechi

    I know it hurts. But I will advice you to hold unto God, allow him to direct your steps. But please dont abort that pregnancy. Not only that it is morally unjust, you may never be lucky again to conceive naturally on irregular mensuration. As most times that irregular mensuration poses great difficulty while trying to have children later in life. That child is your miracle baby. -A WORD. Am talking from experience.

  60. POSH Avatar
    POSH

    †ha† guy is very wicked! Tell him i said he’s very wicked! Tufiakwa!

  61. chizoba Avatar
    chizoba

    Ify don’t give up God is not asleep, God is watching so be strong for your child. Also prayer will help you to overcome this trial.

  62. Comson Ejikeme Avatar
    Comson Ejikeme

    Most men are heartless and wicked but maybe God used her to resue the man from his hopeless situations.
    God’s way are always divine and his words are true. Her man will come and love her for who she is not minding if she has a baby or not. She should let go and let God to take control over her predicament because there is a divine purpose for all of us but that man will face his doom tomorrow. Baby be true and be yourself because God loves you and always remember that the best is yet to come.

  63. Uju Avatar
    Uju

    Sweetheart, sometimes it seems God doesn’t exist or he just doesn’t answer prayers despite the fasting and prayer and reading his promises from the bible but I found that in not answering our prayers most times he answers our prayers. How you may ask but if you get over this hurt, you will come to the understanding that you would never hv been able to leave with him even if he chose u over the other woman. Come to think of it, do u think you could trust him after deceiving you for four solid yrs? All you will do is just second guess his every move and we all know that trust is an ingredient found in the foundation of a solid relationship. It hurts so cry when you feel like it, read the word of God to boost your self confidence and give you hope for a brighter tomorrow k. In time, karma will pay him back in his own coin and most importantly take care of that baby in as much as you may despise it’s father ryt now bcos he myt be the future president of Nigeria. Just take good care of yourself leave town if you must and try as much as possible to get up and jump through this hurdle life has kept in ur way bcos it could hv been worse trust me. Wish I were around you I Would have loved to keep you company and see you get better (i’m not a lesbian oh). Be selfish invest in urself and ur child and don’t bothere looking back at what could have been. It maybe hard to give thanks ryt now as I am in that place but I know in time, you will understand that what happened was in your best interest k.

  64. Vera Avatar
    Vera

    All said n done d deed has bn done, i,l advice u 2 keep ur baby n forge ahead although it’s nt dat easy bt when u beliv n trust in God evrythin wil begin 2 work out 4 ur good. As for d guy dat took advantage of u jst leave him 2 God bcos i beliv dat God wil deal wit him in his own way bcos he seems 2 hav forgotten dat God is majority.Don,t wory God wil send 2u an outstandin man dat wil make a difference in urs n ur baby’s life jst beliv dat God allows dis unpleasant situatn 2 happen bcos he wants 2 tak u 2 d next level, he wants u 2 accomplish wot he has instal 4u n destiny mst tak it’s cause bcos d Lord is ur strength n wil always b, so my dear stop cryin n rejoice in d Lord.

  65. greatpeter Avatar

    In all we thank thy and even more in case like this ,please curse not for only our GOD knows why ,the best thing to do is to forgive him and try your ough most best to carry on your life that new baby should be your source of all strenght

  66. blessing Avatar
    blessing

    u know it always happen to good women,it has happened to me its not right but i was able to get on with my life with the help of my family and friends.dont ask him anything he would go back to where u took him from.God is the rewarder.i know what am talking about.take heart am with u.

  67. Bee Avatar
    Bee

    Hmmm!!! i might sound harsh but baby girl! you’ve got to move onnnnnn! The things you go through in life only makes you a better you.One thing you should learn is this” just forgive him,let go and don’t give up on love”. Make sure you learn life’s lessons as you go through the grieving process. Shalom!!

  68. Monica Avatar
    Monica

    My dear is a tough situaation but its tough things that make some one tougher.My dear commit it to God he is the highest COMFORTER.
    I went through a tough time called it shattered hearted,messmerized heart and heart broken about 5months ago that i nearly lost my job and life.my God saw me through and he will in your own case too.Please try and be strong for yourself and dont think evil .You will bounce back and laugh greatly at last.A deceit is always one.Sure you have learnt something.
    I will always pray for you and talk to God as often as possible.That unborn child no matter how it comes is a BLESSING .GOD LOVES YOU THE MOST HE WILL MAKE YOU SMILE LIKE STEPH

  69. taiwo balogun Avatar
    taiwo balogun

    your best days are yet to ,this is just beginning .be very prayerful and wise for any future relationships

  70. Amarachi Avatar
    Amarachi

    Seriously am short of words. God will vindicate u my dear; just table it to him in prayers and relax ur mind; he will surely come to ur rescue.

  71. Didi Avatar
    Didi

    Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.I’m not saying it’s going to be easy,but once your bundle of joy comes,give him/her your all,you will definitely overcome your troubles,and know that there’s a man out there for you,one who will love you and your baby,I’m talking from experience,just be happy and God will shine His Light upon you.CHEERS!!!

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