Stephanie Linus Daily

Tag: Relationships

  • How To Know If A Guy Is Just Not Into You

    Hi Sl Fabz,

    So this post was inspired by the quote below. I couldn’t help laughing hard when I read it. I have been in that situation and I know a lot of ladies here can attest to this too. It seems like you’re the only one in the relationship or the only one trying to make it work while the other person acts like he just doesn’t care.

    These are a few thing to watch out for to know if a guy is really into you:

    No Texting/Calling
    If he returns your calls and text messages days after you reach out and ignores the fact that he’s been distant, something’s up. A person interested in you wants to build the relationship and communication is a major part of that.

    Daylight Outings
    Does he take you out in the day time? Have you two even seen the light of day together? Gone out in public? Are your outings always at night? If all you two do is chill at the crib, you may have already lost. Tell him you want to spend the day with him outdoors and see his reaction.

    Cancelled Plans
    He plans a date with you days before and cancels just hours before it starts. A guy who likes you won’t cancel and if he does, he’ll immediately make it up to you because he doesn’t want you to leave.

    No Personal Interest
    If a guy shows no interest or excitement over finding out who you are, it’s not a good sign. When we like someone, we can’t get enough. We want to know every story, every detail. If a guy shows no interest in your life, your hobbies, what you enjoy, etc., he’s really just not all that interested in you.

    Serial Flirt
    A guy who flirts with everybody isn’t shy, he’s going to go after what he wants. So if you’re hoping that he’s interested in you because he’s flirting with you, but he’s not making a move and he flirts with lots of other people, it’s a sign he’s not into you.

    Have you been in this situation before? How do you know if a guy/lady is just not into you? Please share!

  • TALK TO STEPH: Which of these characters is a major turnoff for men?

    When it comes to relationships, there are some things people just can’t stand. What might be tolerable for you might be a no-go area for another person.

    Today, I’m taking things from the mens’ perspective. However, this question is open to everyone. 

    Which of these characters is a major turnoff for men?

    1. An independent woman (especially one who is richer than the man)
    2. A rude woman
    3. A lazy woman
    4. An indecent woman
    5. A dirty woman
    6. OTHERS (specify)

    If you choose any of the options, please state your reasons. 

    xoxo

    SL

  • Dear Heartbroken Lady,

    I just want to start off by saying you are going to be OK. I know this might sound crazy, but this is the best thing that has ever happened to you. It may not seem like it, but I promise it is.

    Perhaps, now all you know is that you are in pain and hurt, and feel all alone, and knowing that tomorrow you will feel the same way. Trust me, I know the feeling.

    You feel weak, but you’re not. You are so incredibly strong.

    Do not think of heartbreak as misery, but as a blessing. Be thankful that you found out soon enough and that you can start over again. I know it hurts, it will hurt, and you will feel like your world is crumbling down around you and your heart is in physical pain but you will get over that. Losing someone who didn’t appreciate you is a gain, not a loss.

    Not everyone will love you for who you are, but who you are will always be enough, better than enough for the right person. People come into our lives to learn from us or to teach us and not everyone is meant to stay. There are so many reasons for this, and none of them have anything to do with you not being enough.

    Your life will turn around and you will be much happier than you ever were. 

    Stop spending so much of your time in the space of questioning where your relationship went wrong. He simply wasn’t the right person for you and that is great!

    You are beautiful. So your goal should be to want to be with someone the way that God see’s you.

    So chin up home girl. I promise you will make it through and you will wonder why it took you so long to get to this place.

    You are going to be OK

    SL 💙💛

  • TALK TO STEPH: WHOM SHOULD I LISTEN TO – MY DAD OR MY HUSBAND?

    I am 28 years old, married with a six year old child (we had him before we got married three years ago). I’m trying to get ahead in my career. I got an offer that would demand a lot of work and attention to career growth.

    Here is my dilemma. There are two men I don’t joke with in my life – my father and my husband.

    My father is the best dad in the world. This man suffered to ensure that me and my siblings got the best out of life.

    My husband is the love of my life.

    But these two men don’t see eye-to-eye on any issues regarding me. My father wants me to get ahead in life and do almost everything I dream of, but my husband wants me to slow down and be more domestic.

    My dad was excited when I told him about the job. He said I should go for it. But my husband isn’t pleased. He wants me to take a break from all the high-flying career goals.

    Now they are both not talking to each other. My father says he will be disappointed if I don’t take the job, and my husband says it will hurt his feelings if I take the job.

    On my part, I like the job, but I am not as crazy about it as my dad, and I am also not a slow-paced person as my husband wants me to be.

    In this case, whom do I listen to? – Victoria

  • Talk To Steph: I Find It Difficult to Get Married As A Single Mother

    Hello Steph,

    I am a single mother. I had my daughter while I was still in school. I am through with school now, I am working at the moment, and I will like to get married.  But I have issues with the men who show interest in me. Whenever I tell them that I have a child from a previous relationship, they usually withdraw their love. They just want to date, but I want more. The guy I am presently dating does not call me often anymore. He is investing less than 20% of his love and time in the relationship. I am tired. I’ll be 29 this December.

    How can I position myself as a single mother to find marriage and love? Please post this for your mature fans to help me. – Jacinta

     

  • TALK TO STEPH: MY MUM SAYS I CAN’T MOVE OUT UNLESS I GET MARRIED

    Rose sent in this. She needs your urgent advise. Hear her:
     
    Hello Stephanie,
     
    I am 29 and financially independent but my mum insists I can only move out when I get married. I work in a telecommunications outfit. Although I live with my parents, I earn enough to cater for myself and I also assist my siblings in various ways.
    I feel it is time I leave my parents to stay on my own which I can comfortably afford but my mum is kicking against it. She said she will not accept that I live her home except I am going to my husband’s house. I am still single and there is no way I will get married before this year runs out and I seriously need to leave my parents.
    I want some privacy but my mum would hear none of that. What if it takes another 5 years before I get married? I can’t stay with my parents for that long!
    What do you advise I do?
     

  • TALK TO STEPH: My Husband Wants Me To Quit My Job

    Justina sent this in. What do you advise?

    Hear her:

    Hello Stephanie,
    I work in the Health sector. As a result of the tight schedule of my husband and I, we decided to pay for care
    givers for our four and two year olds. My marriage has been blissful until I told my husband about the promotion I got from my work place. This promotion means so much to me because it is a reward for my
    efforts all these years; but at the same time, it is tearing my home apart. My husband said that I need to spend more time taking care of the family. That it is either I quit my job to take care of the family or I quit my marriage and take care of my job. I don’t think that is fair. This is my dream, and he has refused to understand. What steps should I take to solving this issue? Please I need your advise. – Justina

    Let’s help Justina. Leave your comments below, she’ll read them.

     

  • Talk To Steph: Ladies, Can You Date And/Or Marry A Younger Man?

    Ladies, get in here! Today’s topic is one that is always surrounded by a lot of controversy, but I would really like to know what you think.

    Many times, people say things like “Do you know that she is older than he is?”, “She is dating her younger brother’/son’s age mate”, “I can’t marry a man that is not at least 5 years older than me.” I know of someone who refused to continue a relationship the moment she realized she was a few days older than the guy.

    Our culture is generally not open to the idea of women marrying younger men and vice versa. The saying “Age is just a number” does not necessarily hold true in this part of the world when it comes to the older woman/younger man dynamic.

    Does the age difference really determine whether a marriage would succeed or not. There are examples of women that married older men who have successful marriages today; and there are women that married older men whose marriage did not turn out so well.

    So ladies, do you see yourself marrying someone who is younger, or better put, can you marry a younger man?

    Please share your thoughts on this.

  • 5 Easy Steps To Saying “NO”

    As simple as it sounds, saying “No” is not the easiest thing to do in the world. Some people would rather please the whole world than tell someone “no” even when there is a genuine reason for this. People who find it hard to be assertive end up becoming people pleasers and that is not a good place to be.

    First of all, it is simply impossible to please everybody and trying to do that means you are living by other people’s expectations of you.

    Also, when people figure that you have a problem saying “No”, it could be misconstrued and used to manipulate you into serving their needs.

    So how do you say “no” without feeling guilty? Let me establish here that it is easier to say “no” when you have a clear sense of priorities. So for instance, if you have to attend Bible study on Wednesdays, you should be able to say “No” when yo friend asks you to follow him/her to the movies. It is all about figuring out which is more important.

    Eve when the clear answer to a request is “No”, there is a way to go about it without being rude or insensitive.
    This is a five-part formula for those say “no” moments:

    1.) Start with a compliment if one fits the situation.

    2.) Give your answer.

    3.) Thank the person for understanding.

    4.) Encourage the person.

    5.) Change the subject or excuse yourself.

    From step one to five, keep it easy going and wear your biggest smile. Let the other person know that you bear no hard feelings, but you really cannot be of help this time.

    SL Fabz, what do you think? Do you often find it difficult to say “no”? Let’s share…

  • Beating or Cheating: What is a deal breaker?

    First of all, I think this question is ridiculous! None should be acceptable in a relationship.

    However, I’ve been noticing this question trending on a couple of platforms and just recently, someone asked me the same question.

    It’s quite sad that women are mostly on the receiving end of this. Statistics show that women are most often the victims of domestic violence in relationships, and they are also the ones who get cheated upon most times. The fact that this question is even being considered in the first place goes a long way to show that we as women need to do more in empowering ourselves financially. We must also build our confidence and self-esteem, and tell ourselves (including our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends) that we shouldn’t just wholeheartedly accept such undesirable treatment simply because we are women.

    I do not really want to go into a rant about this, but this is how I feel.

    How about you? What are your thougths on this topic?