Stephanie Linus Daily

Talk To Steph: Is he too old for me?

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I got this email from a reader recently and it mirrors what lots of people are passing through in their relationships. The question of age difference is a serious one affecting lots of relationships.

SL Fabz, read her story below and give some useful advice:

Hello Steph, I turned 23 last year October and before I went home for the holidays (I study abroad) I prayed fervently to God to let meet someone because I have been single for like 3yrs. So I got home and started interning because I was bored of staying at home and on this day after I closed from work, I met this guy who asked to give me a lift. Fast forward to two weeks later, we bonded so well and I was so into him. I think I liked him.

He loves me so much, at least that’s what he said, and told me he wanted something serious with me. I agreed and then he asked what my Genotype was because he always has a problem with that. I wasn’t too sure so I went for a Genotype Test and I was AA which means we were good to go. He was very excited. He introduced me to his Mum, Dad and only sister all within my summer holiday. I met each of them on separate occasions and they were very warm towards me (he’s the only son).

A month after we met, I let him and we made love. I was a virgin and that broke his heart because he wept. Before I was due to leave Nigeria in October,  he asked me several times to marry him but I felt it was too soon. We had been together for just 3MONTHS!! He’s everything I have always wanted in a man. He’s catholic, educated, matured, a good Christian from a good home and has a good job. But the thing is I’m 23 and he’s 36!! For some reason I think he is far older than me. What do you guys think. Is 13yrs too much? Should I go ahead and marry him?

SL Fabz, please give her some good advice in dealing with this situation.

 

*Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’

Comments

  1. Tee Avatar
    Tee

    Age is a number,love is the greatest of all.

    Reply
  2. prisca Avatar
    prisca

    Honestly d age difference is not much between u guys, what should be mostly considered is if u guys get along nd love each other, if u truly love him, then u shouldn’t look at d age difference.

    Reply
  3. Roseleone Avatar
    Roseleone

    Hi age is just numbers, when you love someone age doesn’t matter. Myself I’m dating a man 30 years older than me and I love him so much. We are planning to get married. So go ahead and marry him.

    Reply
  4. obetta ene stella Avatar
    obetta ene stella

    Honestly, true love is what dat matters in a relationship. Dat age is not too much but, very ok!!!

    Reply
  5. Maureen Avatar
    Maureen

    I am 30 and my husband to be is 42. We are happy and love one another. That’s the key.
    At first I was really bothered about his age but not until we started planning our wedding that I felt nothing was wrong with it.

    Reply
  6. Prencess Vera Avatar
    Prencess Vera

    my dear the age is okay,women always look older then men as days goes by,if everything about him is fine the the age is not a problem.

    Reply
  7. Oscar-Prez Avatar
    Oscar-Prez

    Hello!-I-nid-advise-am-a-young-guy-of-20-yrs!I-met-a-gal-online-and-we-started-d-first-day-we-met-one-on-one-she-says-truly-luv-me-but-wen-I-left-home-after-1week-she-says-am-too-short-she-cant-date-me-so-nw-am-afraid-to-approach-any-gal-cuz-they-may-says-d-same-do-height-affect-relationship?

    Reply
  8. Joy Avatar
    Joy

    My dear you’re even so lucky,he is educated,a christian and all that,the one i met is not even educated that was what freaked me out,i couldn’t just stand it despite family pressure all cos he seems so nice to my family. If you love him,you can publicly be proud of him,then just go for him,don’t let go cos of age difference ,his age doesn’t matter at all.You are down lucky i must say…

    Reply
  9. Elsie Avatar
    Elsie

    My dear age is just a number. if u guys love each very much do go ahead and marry and enjoy life to the fullest.But remember to pray to God for a good decision. Wishing u all de best in whatever decision u mke.

    Reply
  10. Ayokanmi Avatar
    Ayokanmi

    In marriage, family acceptance is impotant. So far his family has approved his choice of partner, you have nothing to fear about.

    Reply
  11. Kendra Avatar
    Kendra

    My husband is 11 years older than I am and guess what? We dated for 6 whole years so you can imagine how old I was at the time. Presently, am 23. We get along very well. He’ll pamper you to pieces and love you to the moon and back. Trust me. #wink

    Reply
  12. MONICA Avatar
    MONICA

    Mydear,The age is not really an issue try and know this guy,3months is still short.Let GOD INTO IT AND PRAY ABOUT IT.what about your life career and fulfilment have you discuss ,is both of you in the same page.Is he a born again Christian cos both of you have to ask God for forgiveness and put the marriage stuffs before God.Check this and more ,and the good time and few understandings yoi have.Age is a number, your happiness matters.

    Reply
  13. JOY Avatar
    JOY

    understanding in marriage is all dt matters, age is irrelevant my dear pls pray abt it & dnt consider d age differance

    Reply
  14. loveth uche Avatar
    loveth uche

    Hello sweetheart, just fellow your mind dear. so far the maturity, sincerity, humility, caring and God fearing is there, just go ahead and forget about his age. what we are talking about here is your happiness and nothing ease. Goodluck

    Reply
  15. Chukwuemeka Avatar
    Chukwuemeka

    I cannot claim to understand what your going through in terms of making this perhaps life changing decision, however i know a little about making hard decisions and wondering every minute if you made the right decision.
    Here is my technique to making tough decisions. You are a Christian, so simply ask yourself this.”What will Christ do in this situation?” Listen to yourself carefully and the answer will reach you. Secondly ask yourself these questions. Is it true? Is it kind? What will love do? If all the answers are yes go ahead and have the confidence and belief you made the right decision. However if even one of the answer is no, you may reconsider your position. All the best.

    Reply
  16. Rossy Avatar
    Rossy

    Seriously i must confess u re very lucky, love is utmost nd important thing, since u love him u can go ahead.

    Reply
  17. Maryjoe Avatar
    Maryjoe

    I am 24 yrs old n my guy is 39 yrs old likely 15Yrs older than I am, but he is everything a lady need from a guy so caring, loving n even take care of me n my family, he is preaching everyday of getting married to me but I always don’t give a genuine answers just because he is older than I am n a Muslim which he is just conveyed to a Christian n he also because he is 15 yes older than me, plx advice me I don’t know the decisions to make n every blessed day he keep talking of coming home to see my parents n asking for my hands in marriage. Plx frns help me out am really confused

    Reply
  18. ikeo Avatar
    ikeo

    Hi dear, it’s hard but I feel is simple, you know Why? Because love supersedes all. It gives room for analysis but at the end consider that which marvels. To me that age difference isn’t too far my dear but let love lead the way So you can make your perfect decision. I always tell people that in choosing a life partner what I Consider first is the personality, is it somebody I will live to adore and cherish as long as we both shall live? Remember that’s the new school of thaught your going. Be wise my see!

    Reply
  19. debra Avatar
    debra

    hello,I’m also a victim.
    I’m 23,he is 40.18years difference.
    But i have this peace in me and like you all have said,love matters. I am going ahead to make the best out of this relationship and also make a successful making by God’s Grace

    Reply
  20. Okeke Nkiru Avatar
    Okeke Nkiru

    Hello,,, his wat every woman want,,,, pls dnt let go,,,, age has got nothing to do wit ur happiness

    Reply
  21. chichy Avatar
    chichy

    I don’t think age matters.what more important is yo love.if you truly love each other there is no problem.one thing I liked about your boyfrand is he is matured…he was ready to show you to the family and they all liked you.he is a christian…and he was touched when she found out you were a virgin.most men they just use and dump.they are a few who appreacites that.if he is willing to marry…let it be.May God guide you and direct your footsteps.May the almighty be the centre of your relationship.all the best dear…

    Reply
  22. Babawam Stephen Avatar
    Babawam Stephen

    u better accept his proposal before it becomes late age is just a number, love covers all sins

    Reply
  23. precious B Avatar
    precious B

    My dear, you are very lucky in life. Go ahead and marry him but before then always go on your knees and seek for God guidience, directive and protection. Cheers.

    Reply
  24. Dorothy Avatar
    Dorothy

    For me the age difference is just too perfect, all u need is to cooperate with this guy and u will thank God all ur days. I was like my man to be years older becos the mutual understanding is always too unique. My dear just go for it and i wish u more than u wish urself.

    Reply
  25. Cyndy Avatar
    Cyndy

    my husband is 14yrs older than I am. Pretty sure u got d msg!

    Reply
  26. Racheal Laye Edward Avatar
    Racheal Laye Edward

    Age has got nothing to do with love. If u love him go for it

    Reply
  27. karinate Avatar
    karinate

    I am 22 and dating a guy of 36 and I love him ssoooo very much. follow ur heart, der is nafin wrong with d age

    Reply
  28. brandy Avatar
    brandy

    I had same problem too when I was dating my now hubby, I was 27 n he was 39. Now we r married n I don’t regret it a bit. D maturity, care , pampering etc .

    Reply
  29. Aisha Avatar
    Aisha

    My boyfrnd is 17yrd older than me…am not the least bothered abt it. Sweedy pls say yes to him n ask for some more tym to know him better. Goodluck

    Reply
  30. Amara Avatar
    Amara

    My dad is 55 years old.. my mum is 40 years old.. Soon, they’ll be celebrating their 25 years anniversary. I’ve never seen two people so in love.. love is all that matters.

    Reply
  31. carmyn Avatar
    carmyn

    When I met my husband I was 24 and he was 44. I was pregnant and suffering from a broken heart. He took me, married me and my baby and has been the best husband and father anybody could ask for. Sometimes I touch him just to make sure he’s human. and he has never go en me pressure for his own child. He says I should do it in my own time. What more can i ask for?

    Reply
  32. Sofia Avatar
    Sofia

    Age is just a numba d most important 1 dat am happy to hear is dat he luvs u & wit d way am lukin @ it d guy luvs u to d extent dat he can do anytin 4 u, so my dear wat else do u want becos ur prayas has been answered so wake up 4rm ur so call age difference becos it won’t work if u kip on tinkin abt d age difference or do u want to get married to ur age mates, both of u will av d same mentality becos he’s nt matured. My dear tink b4 its too late & stop turnin down d gentleman’s proposal becos age its nt on ur side if u fail him dn’t be surprise dat he will find sum1 beta dan u. A word is enough 4 d wise.

    Reply

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