Stephanie Linus Daily

Category: Talk to Steph

  • TALK TO STEPH: I AM PREGNANT BUT MY BOYFRIEND SAID HE IS NOT READY

    Hello Steph,
    I see that you allow your fans to seek advice on your platform. Thank you.
     
    This is my issue:
    I am 22 years old and presently doing my NYSC at Anambra state. I hooked up to this new guy and we decided to explore sex. I regret not using protection, I was very sure I was on my safe period, may be I miscalculated, but it happened and none of us was really prepared. One minute we are talking and the next minute… things happened. My menstrual cycle had delayed for two months and I was feeling funny. So I went for a test last week and I was confirmed pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, he said he is not ready to be a father now. He says he is not my boyfriend, that I was only an NYSC fling. That I should get rid of it and never come near him again.
     
    This is my dilemma: I lost a cousin last year when she was trying to get rid of a pregnancy. The gist spread through out my village. It was too embarrassing for the family; even up till now they still use it to warn us in my family. I am afraid. I don’t know what to do. I have no money and even if I did, I am afraid to do it. 
     
    I can’t take care of a child. I have nothing. I’ve made the mistake, please I don’t want harsh words. The deed is done. What can I do now?
     
    Please advice. I am dreading telling my father. He will definitely disown me.
     
    Help!
     
    – Ijeoma

  • TALK TO STEPH: My Aunty Does Not Want Men Around Me But She Pressures Me To Get Married

    Hello Stephanie,

    I am in my final year in Polytechnic, I’m 23 years old. I live with my aunty and she’s strict when it comes to boys talking to me. I don’t hang around many men or even have time for that, but whenever I am on a call or chatting with a boy from church or neighburhood, she begins to warn me to stay away from men.

    But what confuses me is that she always badgers me to find a good man and marry. She’ll say, “You know you are graduating soon, you need to start preparing for marriage”. But how do I prepare for marriage if she won’t let me talk to any man? I’m not doing anything wrong with them but I just think it is weird that she wants me to find a husband but she is always complaining when I talk to men. So how am I going to find a man to marry me if I am only allowed to talk to girls?

    Even I would like to get married immediately after NYSC. What can I do about this, please? – Inioluwa

  • TALK TO STEPH: SHOULD I SETTLE ABROAD AND LEAVE MY FAMILY HERE?

    Hello Stephanie,

    I want to grab an opportunity to grow my business abroad, but my family is based in Nigeria. I know it’s a common thing for husbands to relocate for the promise of a better life for the family, however my marriage is just six months old and we have a three weeks old baby. I am in my mid thirties, but my wife is just 21 and she is scared she won’t be able to cope without because she has to go to school whilst taking care of our baby, and the stress may be too much for her. She says she needs my physical presence and protection, She also complains about sex. My parents are dead and my siblings are living their own lives. My mother-in-law runs a farm in her village and taking care of a sick husband so she cannot be in town to take care of her.

    The offer to grow my business is coming from my paternal uncle – a man I haven’t seen in over 20 years who is trying to rebuild connection with his relatives. My wife says I shouldn’t take the offer just yet, and begs for more time. She says she is going to be lonely.

    I feel like if I don’t take it now, I may not have the opportunity again. And I really need to expand my business.

    Can you ask your fans how they will handle this in my position? What do I do?

  • TALK TO STEPH: MY MUM SAYS I CAN’T MOVE OUT UNLESS I GET MARRIED

    Rose sent in this. She needs your urgent advise. Hear her:
     
    Hello Stephanie,
     
    I am 29 and financially independent but my mum insists I can only move out when I get married. I work in a telecommunications outfit. Although I live with my parents, I earn enough to cater for myself and I also assist my siblings in various ways.
    I feel it is time I leave my parents to stay on my own which I can comfortably afford but my mum is kicking against it. She said she will not accept that I live her home except I am going to my husband’s house. I am still single and there is no way I will get married before this year runs out and I seriously need to leave my parents.
    I want some privacy but my mum would hear none of that. What if it takes another 5 years before I get married? I can’t stay with my parents for that long!
    What do you advise I do?
     

  • TALK TO STEPH: My Husband Wants Me To Quit My Job

    Justina sent this in. What do you advise?

    Hear her:

    Hello Stephanie,
    I work in the Health sector. As a result of the tight schedule of my husband and I, we decided to pay for care
    givers for our four and two year olds. My marriage has been blissful until I told my husband about the promotion I got from my work place. This promotion means so much to me because it is a reward for my
    efforts all these years; but at the same time, it is tearing my home apart. My husband said that I need to spend more time taking care of the family. That it is either I quit my job to take care of the family or I quit my marriage and take care of my job. I don’t think that is fair. This is my dream, and he has refused to understand. What steps should I take to solving this issue? Please I need your advise. – Justina

    Let’s help Justina. Leave your comments below, she’ll read them.

     

  • Talk To Steph: Should I Move In With My Boyfriend?

    Hello Stephanie,

    I have been dating my boyfriend for six months. It has not been easy, we have had a lot of arguments and have broken up a few times. He thinks the solution to the problem we are having is if I move in with him so we can know how to live together. He says he needs to feel the presence of a woman in his house before he can propose or take me seriously.

    My problem is: my father will kill me if I do that. I told my boyfriend this but he says that if I am serious about the relationship and want to get married, I have to focus on him and not on what anybody else says. I love my boyfriend and my greatest wish is to get married soon, but my family are against it and I know that if I continue to delay, I might lose my relationship. I am 25 and I don’t have that much time to be jumping in and out of love.

    What should I do? Should I move in and later explain everything to my family?

    – Ijeoma

    #

    Hello, dearies! What do you advise Ijeoma to do?

  • Talk To Steph: If I have N5million in my account, how much should I spend on my wedding?

    Hello Stephanie, my name is Clement. I want to get real advice from your fans; from those who understand hard work and the importance of saving.

    I am a business man, still struggling to make good money and good profit in my business. I sell plastic chairs and plastic souvenirs for parties. The profit is not too much. But I believe in keeping the faith and growing the business.

    Stephanie, I will not lie to you. My whole account is just N5million. My wedding is coming soon. My fiancée has been bragging about big wedding to her family and friends, and this people… instead of them to advice her to slow down, they are cheering her on.

    The problem now: my fiancée is saying I should use N3million of my money for the wedding. I was hoping for just a court wedding and then later in life we can do all the noisemaking after my business is really big. But she doesn’t want to hear it.

    She says if I love her, I will spend the money on a big wedding.

    I don’t want an expensive wedding. I cannot spend N3m out of N5m saving for a wedding. I am looking for a court wedding and entertainment that will not be more than N500,000.

    The wedding is holding in November.

    Please advice me.

    *Hello all, please send your advice for Clement so he gets to weigh his options regarding what to spend properly. Thanks

  • Talk To Steph: My fiancé slaps me, should I go ahead with the wedding?

    Dear Steph,

    I am dating someone who is usually sweet and kind. But on the days he is upset, he roars with rage and gets physical. He has slapped me more than five times in a relationship of 18 months. He proposed two months ago, and we have fixed the date for October 2017.

    Last week, it happened again. We were watching a series on TV, and we both disagreed with a particular scene. He argued his point and I argued mine, when he realized I was winning the argument, he gave me a heavy slap across my face, hitting my forehead on the sofa. My eyes still hurt from the pain.

    I have complained to family, they say they’ll talk to him. My mother advised me not to argue with him again. Am I not going to speak at all or have an opinion in my own marriage?

    I am excited about getting married finally, but I am worried.

    I have tried to speak to him about it, but he keeps saying he is not like that and it will not happen again.

    What should I do? I don’t want to marry an abusive man.

    ***

    What do you think, should she marry her fiance regardless of the issue?

    Let’s hear your opinion, friends!

    xoxo SL

  • Talk To Steph: How long should you date before getting married?

    Adaora, 27, has been in a relationship with Kingsley, 32, for two years. She works at an accounting firm, and he runs a furniture business.

    Adaora says Kingsley is “kind, fun, romantic, and supportive”. He is the man she wishes to spend the rest of her life with and vice versa. She wonders when is the best time to talk about marriage as he is yet to bring up the subject.

    She is not sure what to do. Two years is long enough to decide where this journey is leading to. When she brings the subject up, he tells her to “relax, fate will work it out”.

    Fate? Hmm! She believes fate is important, but the wishes and decision of two willing partners is all the fate you really need. 

    Ada wants to know: How long should she wait for the marriage proposal to come after two years of dating?

    What are your thoughts?

    xoxo SL

  • TALK TO STEPH: Can I Marry A Man From Another Tribe?

    Dear Stephanie,

    I am an Igbo lady and I am in love with a Yoruba man. We met in the University about four years ago and started dating since then. I didn’t really think our relationship would last long, I just liked him then and I wanted to have a companion in school. But he has proven to be much more than I expected and he has asked me to marry him. We are both working and have good jobs but the only problem is his tribe. My parents have been telling me to leave the relationship for a long time but every time I try to leave, we always come back together. I said yes to his proposal but I don’t know how to break the news to my parents. They will never be in support of our marriage. What should I do?

    Oluchi.

    Dear Oluchi,

    Love is a beautiful thing, I must tell you, and I’m glad you’ve found love. Love transcends age, religion, tribe and many other social barriers we create for ourselves. I want you to know that it’s totally normal to find love with someone from a different tribe. However, I cannot tell you whether you should marry this man or not. What I can tell you is that if he is God’s will for you, God will touch the heart of your parents sooner or later. As parents, we want the best for our children and I’m sure your parents have valid reasons for not wanting you to be in this relationship. You should listen to them. But even more, you should listen to God and let him speak to your heart. Then trust your heart and let it guide you.

    I sincerely wish you the very best and I hope you make the best choice.

    SL

    So, what are your thoughts on this? What do you think Oluchi should do? Please drop your advice in the comment box below.

    *If you have any kind of situation you need advice on and you’ll like us to discuss it here, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject: Talk To Steph.