Stephanie Linus Daily

Category: Talk to Steph

  • Talk To Steph: My Husband complains that I’m not attractive

    Hi Stephanie,

    I am a mother of two lovely girls. My hubby complains that I am not looking attractive to him because of my big belly and fatness. Each time I ask him to take me out, he will complain that he has no money. Despite my tight schedule at work, I did create time but he never takes me out. We have been married for 4 years now and he has never taken me out for honeymoon before. Please Stephanie, could it be my shape that is making him ashamed or no money to cater for the trip? I wish I can be more attractive than I use to be. 

    Dear Hope

    Firstly, let me tell you that you’re beautiful. God made everyone beautiful and you shouldn’t feel any less than that. 

    Secondly, from your words, I sense that you are uncomfortable with the way you look. If you are, then do something about it, not just for your husband, but for yourself. Do some exercise, change/watch your diet, take care of your hair and clothes, make yourself more attractive and feel good about it! With time, you’d notice that your husband will feed off that positive energy and give you the compliments you want to hear.

    I’d also advise that you make the first move and take your husband out. Most of us married women make the mistake expecting that our husband must make the first move in organizing date nights and fun times. It doesn’t have to be somewhere expensive, find a lovely place where the two of you can enjoy some time together and when he has a lovely time out with you, he’d want to go out more often.

    I hope this helps and I wish you the very best in your marriage.

    SL

    So, what are your thoughts on this? What do you think Hope should do? Please drop your advice in the comment box below.

    *If you have any kind of situation you need advice on and you’ll like us to discuss it here, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject: Talk To Steph.

  • Talk To Steph: Should I Pursue A Masters Degree Or A Career In Acting?

    Good morning Stephanie,

    My name is Adaku Okeke. I have seen the movie DRY. It’s very touching and I cried also. I want an opinion from you. I got an admission into UNILAG for my Masters degree but I want to pursue my dream in acting. Please I need an advice or guidance and I don’t want to regret my decisions. I anticipate your response.

    Thanks.

    I got this email above from a reader of this blog just this morning. I quite understand the difficult position you are in Adaku. For you to apply for a Masters degree, pass the qualification test and get an admission, then it should be something you really desire. A career in Acting is also a good thing if you are very talented at it. You didn’t state the course you are going to study, but it it has something to do with Acting and the Performing Arts, then its a plus for you. You also didn’t state if you have already started acting in some productions or if you just want to launch your acting career.

    However, I’d advise that you do both. If you do pursue a career in Acting, the beginning will be tough. You will not get jobs landing at your doorstep so often at the beginning so it will be good to have something to fall back upon. It will also be an added achievement for you to have this degree. Whatever you choose, make sure you are passionate about it. 

    Be prepared to work really hard. You can achieve all you want to achieve this year if you set your mind to it. Also, pray for God’s direction and favour in all you do.

    I wish you the very best!

    SL

    So, what are your thoughts on this? What do you think Adaku should do? Please drop your advice in the comment box below.

    *If you have any kind of situation you need advice on and you’ll like us to discuss it here, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject: Talk To Steph.

  • Talk To Steph: Should I Date My Boss?

    I recently started working at this company after being out of job for almost a year. I love everything about my job except for one thing – my boss wants me to date him.

    I don’t really like him as a person and he is not married. Also, I think he is a womanizer. He has been pestering me for a relationship from the first day I set my foot in this office. It even started right from the interview!

    Although he is not the owner of the company, he is the branch manager and can make any decisions such as firing me.

    Should I pretend that I like him too and start a relationship with him to keep my job? Or should I refuse him and stand the risk of losing my job?

    I’m very confused. I don’t want to be broke again. Please help!

    Dear Miss S,

    I totally understand your dilemma and it’s very sad that you got caught up in this kind of situation. You don’t want to date your boss, and also, you don’t want to loose your job. It’s a very difficult web for any lady.

    I will advise that you stand your ground and don’t do anything you know is not right. Also, pray about the situation and tell God to turn things around in your favour. You’d be surprised at how things will turn out. Your boss could just get transferred or even if you lose your job, you will get a better one! Try not to do anything you will later regret.

    Stay strong.

    SL Fabz, join in and give Miss S. some good advice in the comments section.

  • Talk To Steph: The Broke Guy or The Rich Man?

    I’m 25 years-old and I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for a year now. He is not rich and doesn’t have a job but he is a website and Graphic designer and is still searching for jobs. I have been taking care of him and he stays with me but my parents don’t know he stays with me. He is God-fearing, loving and very humble but my parents do not like him because he doesn’t have money and because of his tribe too.
    I met a 42 year-old married man with two kids and he is very wealthy and likes me. He wants to help me in life financially on condition that I go out with him(sex). His wife is in the UK and only visits four times in a year says the man. I told my parents about it because I was confused on what to do. But my parents want me to agree to the man.
    I love my guy and he loves me too but friends keep saying my guy will leave me if he gets money or starts earning.
    Please help me here. Should I listen to my parents and cheat on my guy by going out with a married man because of money? Or should I still stick to my guy and let this man go? What if my guy does leave when he starts earning and I never get another helper like this man? Or will my guy stay and will my parents like him if he gets money? I’m so confused now… Please I need advice.
    Thank you.
    This message was sent in by Mariam. She sounds really confused and I can understand her dilemma.
    I’d say this to you dear, in no way is it right to have any kind of affair with a married man. Run away from this man as fast as you can and make sure you have nothing to do with him.
    Regarding your boyfriend, things could really get much better for him financially. Yes, some men have been known to leave their partners after getting some wealth, but that does not mean all men do so. You need to understand your boyfriend properly, and know the kind of person he is. Perhaps, he has some traits that makes you think he would do this to you. If there are any of such traits, you need to address them now and make a decision about your future so you don’t get badly burned.
    I hope this helps and I sincerely wish you the very best.
    SL Fabz, do you have any advice for Mariam? Drop it in the comments box.

  • Talk To Steph: I do every thing a wife does but he hasn’t proposed

    A StephanieDaily reader, Ify, sent in this touching email:

    Me and my boo have been dating off and on for the past four years. We started in 2011, took a break when he traveled out for his Masters and got back together in January 2014. We both dated other people while he was away. He dated a white girl while I dated an older guy (old enough to be my Dad, age difference is 25 years) but it was actually a real relationship without financial benefits. So for me it was like dating a regular guy. I am a very independent lady. I don’t earn so much but I can take care of myself and pride myself on that.

    Anyways, my boo was mad when he found out that I had dated someone that old. He said I was a runs girl and that I had ruined the picture he had of me before he traveled. He still wanted to be in relationship with me and we started one. There were a couple of occasions when we would fight and he would bring up the past but with time that stopped.

    Fast forward to December 2014, we were robbed while I was traveling for the Christmas holiday and his car was stolen with all my luggage in it. I felt guilty and still feel guilty his car was stolen because he was going to drop me off at the park when the robbery happened. 2015 began and things have been very tight for us. We live together and we both make use of my car. We both have loans we are paying off. He has school loans, I have loans from the office. I have been the one providing for the both of us for the last 2 months but I don’t feel the strain. I do it because I love him. But I noticed recently that his temper is really short. He gets angry at the slightest provocation and says I don’t respect him. The thing is I don’t get where this sudden need to be respected is coming from because I do every thing a wife does when I haven’t even been proposed to. Every fight we have had this year is about me being disrespectful and I don’t understand it.

    I love him, but I don’t know if I can continue with this relationship with him being angry all the time. I’m scared he might get violent one of these days. Should I stay or should I go?

    Dear Ify,
    I know you must be very confused right now about the situation in your relationship, and I understand. Firstly, I’d like to point out that your boyfriend’s ego has been bruised with the loss of his car and his financial situation. No man finds it comfortable having a woman take care of his needs and that’s probably why he is taking it out on you. The ‘respect’ he is looking for is probably missing in his own eyes because he sees you have the financial advantage over him.
    On another note, I’d like to say that living with a man you are not married to is not the best choice to make. The fact that you do everything a wife does is no guarantee that he will marry you. I’d like you to think deeply about this and make a good decision that will be best for both of you.
    I sincerely wish you the very best and hope you find peace soon.
    SL Fabz, do you have any advice for Ify? Drop it in the comments box.

  • Talk To Steph: My Dad Won’t Let Me Marry A Christian

    A StephanieDaily reader, Zainab, sent in this touching email.

    I’m a 27 year old girl. I work in an Advertising Agency which doesn’t pay much but with time it will grow. My issue is that ever since my Dad has made it mandatory for all of us to marry Muslim guys, I haven’t met any Muslim guy that I can take home. I just don’t understand why parents are this stubborn. Most of my friends are married with children and I’m still here trying to find a good relationship. Even my ugly friends are married with children. I have prayed and prayed and I am loosing faith. I went as far as asking friends to please introduce me to their husband’s Muslim friends but nothing came out of it. I now ask myself if there is something wrong some where. Please how do I go about this. My Dad would rather die than let me marry a Christian. Please I really need your advice. I’m getting tired. Thanks.

    Dear Zainab, first of all, let me give you a big e-hug. I’m very sure you are a pretty and smart young lady and I’d like to remind you to have some confidence in yourself. Don’t think something is wrong with you if your friends get married before you. You are perfectly OK and in due time, you will find true love and marry the love of your life. We all don’t have the same timing in life. Perhaps God is preparing you, and him too, for the time you will eventually meet.

    You didn’t mention in your mail that you were in love with, or dating a Christian. It just seems to me from the tone of your message that there are more Christian guys around you or asking to date you than Muslims. I know this can be really frustrating considering your father’s warning. But most importantly, you have to ask yourself what YOU want because eventually, it would be you getting married and not your father. Of course, your father’s wish is very important, but let God and your heart lead you to the best man for you.

    I wish you the very best!

     

    SL Fabz, join in and give Zainab some good advice in the comments section.

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’

  • Talk To Steph: He Married Someone Else

    I am 32 years old. I dated a guy for four years. He took care of me financially. I know he loves me and I love him with everything I’ve got but just last month February, he married his ex-girlfriend. He did all the preparations without my knowledge. It was two weeks to the wedding that I heard he was getting married which he did not deny. At that time, we were still dating.

    It is two weeks now that he got married but he still comes to my house and still takes care of everything just like before. He still tells me he loves me but he did not know how the whole thing happened. He said that I should give him time so that he can leave the lady for me.

    I love him so much I don’t have the courage to stop him from coming to my house. I feel like seeing him everyday so I’m planning to leave my state to another state to start a new life because I know it won’t be easy for him to quit that marriage. Please I need advice.

    SL Fabz, please give some advice to this reader who sent this heartfelt email about a situation she is passing through.

     

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’

  • Talk To Steph: My Genotype Dilemma

    I’m in love with this guy. We’ve been dating for a year now. I am 28 and he is 31. He hasn’t proposed yet but he is someone I really wish to spend the rest of my life with and we love each other so much.

    In the 10th month of our relationship, we discovered that we are both of the AS Genotype.

    He was the one who discovered it and we decided to end the relationship but it couldn’t work. We parted ways for some weeks and came back again because we couldn’t do without each other. Right now, I am still in the relationship with him.

    I love this guy so much, what should I do?

    I received the email above from a reader named Tayo. Through her words, I can see she is in a very difficult situation and must make a decision urgently. It is also a very delicate situation. Things could turn out good by God’s grace, or could turn out really, really ugly. Raising a child with Sickle Cell Anemia is one of the most challenging situations any family can go through. It gets really tough and the loss of a child is not something any parent should have to face.

    These are important things you must think about dear, and I pray God gives you the grace and strength to make the right decision.

    From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the very best.

    SL Fabz, kindly give her some advice in dealing with this situation. Do you know of any couple with AS Genotype who knowingly got married? How did it turn out for them?

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’

  • Talk To Steph: The grass wasn’t greener on the other side

    I’m a young mother of one and pregnant for the second. I was employed in a Paint Company as the Customer Care Representative before I was lured out of the company by one of my customers who was so impressed with the services I rendered with promises of a better career. They brought me into the company when I was 6 months pregnant. Suddenly the wife of the MD said I tricked my way into the company and sacked me. I left where I’m entitled to so many benefits only to be disgraced by this new company. Is pregnancy a crime in the corporate world? How do I handle this betrayal for its tearing me apart?

    I got this touching mail from a reader who wants to remain anonymous. Let’s call her Mrs J.

    Mrs J, I am deeply sorry about what you had to go through. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    This goes a long way to show that there are lots of factors to be considered before making important decisions like resigning from a job and resuming a new appointment. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation before? Do share your experiences and jump in with some advice for Mrs J.

     

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’

  • Talk To Steph: I don’t trust her

    A male reader, let’s call him Mr S, wants some advice on this situation.

    I have been in a relationship for about 3 years now, yet I just don’t understand why my girl can’t keep to me. She makes me feel I don’t trust her when I cautioned her about undue attention she gives to her colleague. She calls and receives calls from him anytime including midnight, quite early in the morning and they chat all day via text messages. My phone is open for her to gain access but she locks hers with secret PINs. I discovered she has a third phone just some few days back and I do not have the mobile number of that phone. I’m really eager to marry but I’m so confused because I just can’t leave her and I love her so much. Please what do I do?

    SL Fabz, please give him some good advice in dealing with this situation.

     

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’