Stephanie Linus Daily

Tag: Relationships

  • 10 Things Women Need To Stop Doing To Each Other

    The other day, I had a frank talk with some close friends of mine and we all agreed that most times, us women are our own worst enemies. Of course, not all women do these things, but really, we need to put a check on how we treat each other as women.

    Here are some things I absolutely think women should stop doing to each other:

    1. Stop Taking Each Other Down
    If anyone should be there for a woman, it is another woman. As women, we need to stop taking each other down with our words and actions and rather focus on lifting each other up. The world would be a much better place if we all did that.

    2. Stop Comparing
    As women, we find it so easy to look at ourselves and compare varying qualities that other women possess. Each of us is created in our own unique and special way. Let us try taking the time to realize the unique qualities that each of us has rather than comparing.

    3. Fighting Over Guys
    Obviously, if your best girlfriend has an affair with your guy, you have every right to scream and yell. That kind of betrayal warrants anger, for sure. But most times, we should take our anger out on our partners rather than the other girl. Also, if your girlfriend is in a relationship and you are not, don’t allow your jealousy and frustration to get in the way of your friendship.

    4. Criticizing Other People’s Weight
    There are very polite ways to make a complement on another woman’s weight. But saying “oh my gosh you’re so skinny” or “wow, you’ve added so much weight!” might be more hurtful than we think it is.

    5. Withholding Compliments
    Not only is it bad to compliment someone negatively, it is also wrong to withhold good compliments. If your girlfriend has a really nice hairstyle on, or has lost some weight and is looking great, go ahead and say it to her.

    6. Telling Each Other’s Secrets
    It’s really sad to confide in someone and find out that the person has let out your secret to the wrong person. Ladies, let’s not do this to ourselves.

    7. Not Being Supportive
    Many times as women, we desert our friends when they need us the most. Its our friend’s wedding, birthday, graduation, store opening…. and because we feel a certain way about that achievement or milestone, we don’t give our support. So wrong.

    8. Stop Competing!
    I wish I could scream this. Not everything in life is a competition. No one has to really ‘win’ that best dressed award or most expensive bag title. Focus on your own qualities that are unique and special to you.

    9. Comparing Our Bodies
    Hey ladies, we really need to stop this. Many of us have done harmful things to our bodies in a bid to look like the next person. Love who you are and don’t think you need to look like anyone else.

    10. Stop Hating
    I really didn’t know what to title this last point. It might not be the appropriate word to use, but have you noticed that some women just don’t like other women for absolutely NO REASON? I’ve heard this a lot of times “I don’t like that lady” and when you ask why, the response is “I don’t know, I just don’t like her“. Maybe she walks or talks in a certain way that you don’t feel comfortable with and because of that, you conclude that you don’t like her even though you hardly know her!

    This gets me confused. Let’s continue this discussion in the comment section. Ladies, why do you think we do this to each other? How can we stop such habits?

    What other things do we need to stop doing to each other?

  • Talk To Steph: All He Wants Is S**

    A reader left this comment in a recent ‘Talk To Steph’ post which I just had to share.

    Hi Steph, all he wants is sex! I love him so much and I believe he loves me too. But any time I refuse sex, we end up in a fight and that has become a big problem for me. I have tried discussing it with him several times but he failed to reason with me. I’m afraid that if I leave him, I won’t be able to get a better guy. Whenever I’m with him, sex must be involved. I don’t want to be deceived Steph.

    SL Fabz, please give her some good advice in dealing with this situation.

     

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’

     

  • What Do Women Find Most Attractive In Men?

    It’s always so interesting to read your comments every time we have to discuss a topic on relationships. The last time we discussed something similar about what men find most attractive in women, we had an interesting debate in the comment section. I’m positive today’s topic is even gonna be hotter!

    So, tell me SL Fabz, what are the general traits that women find attractive in men?

    As usual, I asked around and these are the most common responses I got.

    1. A good physique: Most Naija women like their men tall, dark and handsome. Ok, maybe not all like them dark, but most likely tall and handsome with a good physique that speaks of confidence and good composure.

    2. A financially comfortable man: A woman is attracted to a man who can take care of himself financially, and also his family. A man who is financially capable of giving his woman comfort is usually more attractive than a man who can’t in most cases.

    3. A romantic man: Find a man who can say ‘I love you‘ at the right time, who knows when to take his woman on romantic dates, buy her romantic gifts… and you’ve found a woman’s man.

    4. ______________

    Let me stop here and allow you to complete the list. What do women find most attractive in men?

  • What Do Men Find Most Attractive In Women?

    There’s a saying that goes thus – ‘One man’s meat is another man’s poison‘.

    This applies to a variety of things, including a man’s type of woman. One man might like a slim woman, another might like a plump one. One man might like a dark skinned woman while another might like a light skinned one.

    However, there are general traits that men tend to like in women, things that attract them.

    I asked a few people and here are the most common answers I heard:

    1. A confident woman: A man likes a woman who is sure of her self, who speaks well, raises her head up high and can hold her ground anywhere.

    2. A beautiful woman: A man likes to look at pleasant things and a woman with a pleasant face and features is just right for him.

    3. A respectful woman: Most men have big egos and they like a woman who can stroke it and not disrespect it. Men in general are attracted to women who have a good level of respect for them.

    4. ______________

    I want to know what you think. SL Fabz, complete the list. What do men find most attractive in women?

    This question is for guys and ladies so let the comments roll in!

  • Talk To Steph: I Love Him But He’s Married

    Miss E needs your advice. Here’s her story:

    I am 28yrs, I’ve been in a relationship for the past 5yrs. Then I was in school and I met this guy who promised me heaven and earth. He helped me with financial support. After 3yrs of our relationship, he then opened up that he had a wife and two kids. I thought nothing was wrong marrying a married man. I was pregnant last year, I was so happy but when I disclosed it to him, he was so afraid that he did everything to convince me to have an abortion. He told me that he has not gotten an apartment for me and I can’t live with his wife unless I want to be dead. I agreed and had the abortion. In the process I almost lost my life but thank God for His mercy. After sometime, he came and begged me with money that he loves me that he only wants us to plan things right.

    What will I do? I really love this guy. It’s been over one year now and he hasn’t gotten any apartment yet. Many of my married friends mock me, telling me that I’m just wasting my time. Anytime I have the courage to tell him I am not interested again and we should go our separate ways, he sheds endless tears to prove his love and reminds me of all he has spent on me. I have people who àre asking my hand in marriage but I don’t love them and I don’t want to be an ungrateful person. I will be 28yrs by March. Please advice me, I don’t know what to do.

    SL Fabz, I know its very easy to be judgmental in this situation but lets try not to be and give her the best advice we can.

    *Remember, if you have a challenge in your relationship that you need advice for, please send an email to info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’

  • How Can You Tell When A Woman Really Loves You?

    I asked the ladies the reverse of this question last week and got some feedback from my male fans who also wanted to know how to identify a lady who really loved a man.

    Apparently, its not only difficult for the ladies to tell when a man truly loves her, its also difficult for a man to identify a lady that truly loves him and is not playing with his heart.

    Women are more emotional than men, and obviously find it easy to express love even more than the men. They say it with words, with their body language, with their laughter, with their tears and more. On the reverse, a woman can also easily deceive a man, making him believe she loves him when she doesn’t.

    A woman who is truly in love with a man…

    1. Calls him or sends him messages often expressing her love for him
    2. Does interesting things to please him like cook his favorite meal
    3. _________________________

    It’s time again to hear from you. Complete the list. Guys, how can you tell when a woman really loves you? Ladies, what do you do to show that you really love a man?

  • How Can You Tell When A Man Really Loves You?

    Ladies, obviously this question is for you.

    Sure, men have different ways of expressing themselves when they are in love. Some show very vivid expressions of their love while some may be very subtle with it. But regardless of a man’s love language, a lady usually knows when a man loves her. There’s a certain way she feels around him, a feeling she doesn’t get with anyone else.

    Some ways men show they are in love are:

    1. He always wants to be around you
    2. He says the nicest things and the sweetest words to you
    3. __________________

    I’d love to hear from you. Complete the list. How can you tell when a man really loves you?

  • Talk To Steph: I don’t want to be deceived again

    Hi Stephanie,

    I’m glad that you are an example for women. I have been in relationships for 3 years with my boyfriend but my concern is about my future with him. Last summer in 2014, I had an issue with him regarding our future. His mother started to get him other women for him which was upset on how could he allow this in our relationship. When he traveled back home in January, some of my friends warn me that he won’t be the same person which was the fact. He refused to tell me what happened over there. He took me to his uncle last year before I travelled then in my head I understood that he was serious.
    After the incident happen last summer, we decided to split I mean Me who decided because I couldn’t take this anymore the pressure of his family getting involved in our relationship which affected it. I started to loose trust in him since he got back home so I started to check his Facebook and messages. I got so mad at him when I found out that he was chatting to another women. I asked myself what did I do wrong to deserve this. I stood by his side when no one was there. He gave me the key of his house that was also like my own because he said he got a house for both of us. We decorated together and everyone was amazed about it. I really treated him like the way a housewife will do for his man even though we were not married. Recently during summer I was so depressed that I lost so much weight while trying to move on. He kept on asking of me to chat or see each other. When I got in contact with him back. We started to talk to try to solve the problem but my question is I don’t want to waste my time with someone who is not ready to be committed to me. I was planning during summer to introduce him to my family to make it official and going ahead for the rest but since I don’t know his mind. I don’t want to have any attachments feeling even though we have a strong chemistry. Before I was so concerned about us because I have to consider him in my life but since I don’t want to bother again. I want to plan my life with or without him. What should I do? I don’t want to be deceived again and particularly giving hope. We are not from the same country. I am in my final year at the University. I am really grateful what he has done for me particularly in my education, he really helped me. He is very caring person and no man has ever treat me this way with respect.

    Thanks in advance
    Please help me

    A reader left this heart touching note for me recently. Please jump in with some good advice for her.

  • What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

    With age comes experience, with experience comes knowledge and with knowledge comes understanding.

    Many times as young children, teenagers and even in our post teenage years, we get advice from our parents and older ones which we just shun. We’ve all been there. Sometimes we think they are old fashioned and don’t just want us to have our way. Or we do things just because they said we shouldn’t do it. We probably succumbed to peer pressure and were affected by our mates telling us we were not good/talented/pretty enough.

    Many times, we get really burnt when we don’t listen to such advice and we only realize that when we’ve learnt our lesson. We have regrets for actions we took even when we were warned not to and wish we could reverse the hands of time. That we know is impossible.

    But today, let’s just imagine we could. Let’s imagine we were much younger, moments before we took that step/did that thing we were not supposed to do. That thing we wish we didn’t do. Now that you know better, what advice would you give your younger self?

  • Talk To Steph: I Don’t Want To Lose Her!

    I received this touching email from a male reader recently who prefers to remain anonymous. Most times, I get emails from women about relationship issues so it was a bit different and interesting to read a man’s point of view.

    I must sincerely express my gratitude over this enviable innovative idea of yours whereby, helping people resolve issues as concerning relationships and other matters. Please kindly use your God given discretion to help in this issue.

    I’m 25 in a relationship with a lady of 22 but from the look of things, she’s really almost set for marriage and am not yet ready to settle down because of some yet unanswered questions.

    1. Can I really settle down at 27 or 28?
    2. Am the 5th in a family of 6, how would my family react to my decision of settling down soon?
    3. Though currently I have a job that I earn about 250k monthly but there’s no job security though am making other investment plans but on her end, she is just about starting her Youth service. Now, considering Nigeria factors, what if the job stops anytime soon what then happens?

    Recently, she suggested that I meet her parents for formal acquaintance which I did. I also presented a bottle of wine to her Dad. I assume she didn’t know what that means and I did not explain it to her.

    Now the issue is, she is totally the kind of a lady I want to be my wife but I have this fear that she might not be patient enough till the time I’m stipulating to settle down which is at the age of 30 and I really don’t want to lose her to anyone.

    Five years is a long time for a lady who is absolutely ready for marriage to wait. I have to ask you these questions: Have you proposed to her? Does she know you really want to marry her? Have you made her understand your reasons for not wanting to get married now?

    Have it in mind that the way you feel now about her may be different from the way you’d feel in 5 years time so it can be a tough one asking her to wait for you for five years. However, you are both young and have your whole lives ahead of you. I’d suggest you take it one step at a time. Don’t rush things. Get to know each other better; concentrate on building your relationship, your career and impacting each other positively. When you are ready to settle down, you’d be in a better position to address this issue again.

    I sincerely wish you the very best!

    *Your kind and useful advice would go a long way in helping him through this difficult situation so feel free to share it.

    Do you wish to send in your question for our ‘Talk To Steph’ column? Please email info@stephaniedaily.com with the subject ‘Talk To Steph’.